Relapses... Poem by Compton Wright

Through the time of my stay here in this earth has been such a struggle
Always battling against everyone else’s constant thoughts and opinions
As the screams that I create that echoes through the basement floor
From the stress of the others gossiping about how the young poet is
Simply just full of problems and issues but I liked to think that I’m
Misunderstood and an misconception of a young man with his demons
While the voices become louder and the past keeps kicking at the door
I start to relapse back into my deep depression and my overwhelming anger

My fists that were washed away from the stained blood on my knuckles
Start to return and the ambition to strive for vengeance but that’s only
Covers the true reality that my fights were just revenge and never succeed
Anything but made me darker of a person and finally made me feel careless
The restless nights I think about thoughts of suicide and death to several others

Tired of seeing nothing but tears in my eyes or red shot eyes from the anger
Start to drink some alcohol from too much depression casting over me but
Soon I started to stop drinking and start to pop some pills in the bathroom
Blacked out from countless sleeping pills I shallow down my throat and
Hoping that I never wake up and become a spirit and look for the stairway to
The heavens and ask god why this world so dark and vile if you created it
But only moments later I awoke with my family aside of me in a hospital bed

As they had to pumped the pills out of my stomach and saved me from
My self-deserved death but gave out a shadowed smirk for a bit of gratitude
Yet I still felt a bit of emptiness inside from all of this regret and pain I given
Myself as life couldn’t be merciful but only cruel in its eyes for only me to suffer