Slava Olchevski

Rookie - 20 Points (1964 / St.Petersburg, Russia)

Robbery At Chevy Chase Bank. The Plot. - Poem by Slava Olchevski

Wizards of confusion!
Masters of illusion!
Scholars of deceit!
Experts of the cheat!

Thank you for your lessons
Teaching me con’s essence
Practicing the scams
And rehearsing shams

I shall also thank
One rather famous bank
Which is my working place…
The name is Chevy Chase.

My story is long and boring
It will make your mother snoring
When I tell how a garbage collector
Had become a bank’s director

The major step in every success, we all agree, is preparation
This rule I absorbed with mother’s milk and I was very, very patient
For over 10 years I bubbled up through the ranks
In the corporate structure of Chevy Chase banks…

Finally, I had all the codes, I had the access
To the most sensitive information, I needed to possess
And then, I devised a simple scheme
That no one before had ever seen:

Expert timing, human’s greed,
A computer crash – all perfectly fit…
I carefully selected the manager for one branch
Who was always somewhat anxious about potential money stanch

A rigged TV set he was awarded, at the last company banquet
Which I could switch to a certain channel, right over the Internet
A trusted buddy from my garbage collecting days
Agreed to become a front in a bank’s robbery case

He is getting in, opens the safe
Breaks bank’s computer and runs away
The branch manager warned by the news
Rushes to the crime scene to prevent abuse

With his track record, I guarantee this man
Will be set to fall when the shit hits the fan
My part is simple: I spring into action
To make a single 10 million dollars transaction

From a central office where I work
To a local branch to replenish its stock
Five minutes later from a bank’s branch computer I wire the money
To a foreign account of my distant honey

Right at this moment my buddy destroys a computer
By smashing its hard-drive like a ferocious looter
Without the evidence there is no one to blame
A perfect crime is a poker game.

Few years later I will retire
To a tropical island that I acquired..

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Poem Submitted: Friday, December 25, 2009

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