Scars Are Reminder Of All The Pain I Try To Hide Inside Poem by mona martinez

scars on my body,
shows me how much pain,
that i am trying to hide,
reminder of what i'm afraid to change,
pains builds,
i feel like i have one of two outlets,
none which are positive,
but it the ways i know how to,
make it magicially disappear,
feel free from everything,
that is weighting me down,
i'm tired of this,
i just want to be free,
but it seems like to be free,
it means to go deeper into the pain,
go in the darkness,
that i would rather end,
than to have to walk through it,
i will take any way around it if i could,
i'm fighting my hardest,
just to not have to go through it,
go through everything i blocked out,
i understand a bit why,
it still what i do til this day,
block out and remembering bits and pieces,
go through, why i stop believing in myself?
everything that was said,
during thoses days,
i wished it was all a dream,
still replay in my head like it happened yesterday,
i feel broken,
i want to give up,
i feel defeated.