Schlub And Hottie Poem by gershon hepner

When a schlub falls for a hottie,
and is trying to be naughty,
he’s more likely to be dumped
and to slump than to be humped.
Life must be hard for shlubs, no doubt,
because no hotties will put out
for them, except for movies in
Hawaii, where they let them win.

Inspired by “Forgetting Sarah Marshall, ” where Jason Segel plays the role of Peter a schlub who goes to Hawaii, where he is pursued by two hotties, Rachel, played by Mila Kunis and Sarah Marshall, played by Kristen Bell. A. O. Scott writes:
Jason Segel, author of the film’s screenplay and a fixture in Mr. Apatow’s universe since the television series “Freaks and Geeks, ” takes his allotted turn as the romantic lead, which is to say as a slobby, goofy but basically decent fellow navigating the uncertain waters of modern sexual ethics. He does so at an island resort where the evening sun bathes the palm trees in honeyed light and imparts a gemlike sparkle to the Pacific Ocean. Supporting Mr. Segel are some of the usual gang — Jonah Hill as a waiter, Paul Rudd as a surfing instructor, Bill Hader as the brother back home in Los Angeles — and a few newish dudes (notably Jack McBrayer and Da’vone McDonald) stepping up to deliver YouTube-ready riffs on matters of eros and pop culture. (Politics, the actual YouTube obsession of the moment, doesn’t really exist in Mr. Apatow’s world.) … The Rachel-Peter romance is charming but not, in the end, especially credible or interesting. That the contrastingly but equally gorgeous Rachel and Sarah end up as rivals for Peter’s favor is likely to flatter the self-esteem — or at least feed the fantasies — of doughy, underachieving regular guys across America. Which is nice for them, us, whatever. But the schlub-hottie pairings that have become ubiquitous on screen lately also reinforce a dreary double standard. Guys are permitted to be flabby, lazy emotional wrecks, but as long as they crack jokes, some action will come their way. Girls, ideally, should have a sense of humor — mainly so they can laugh at those jokes — but for the most part they should look good in a bikini and like sex (though not too much and not anything too weird) . Maybe someday, though probably not under Mr. Apatow’s aegis, a relatively ordinary-looking woman will have a sex comedy of her own.



4/29/08