I almost became a country singer.
My cousin Don invited me
to join him on tour once,
but I was having too much success
...
She's never been kissed!
How could I have missed?
No woman can resist my charms.
I'll welcome her into my arms.
...
I followed the star;
I didn't know why.
It seemed not so far,
and bright in the sky.
...
When I leave this world, I hope the sun shines.
When my mother died, it rained for three days.
I think the heavens wept for her, but I
do not deserve any adoration.
...
I'm flying down the open road,
wind flowing through my hair.
My brain is in torpedo mode
and I've got time to spare.
...
To my friend Bri:
Oh, why, oh, why
must you complain
your wife won't let
...
A red wheelbarrow...
So much depends on that thing?
What a crock of crap!
...
I've traded in my horse
for a 2024 Porsche,
but I knew from the start
that I'd have to part
...