Daniel Brick

Gold Star - 75,158 Points (June 10,1947 / St. Paul MN)

Snail Talk For Rosemary - Poem by Daniel Brick

My invitation was lavish.
I planned my words to glide
as smoothly as that single leg moves
across the path of discharged mucus.

I imagined a kind of conversation
of blue moonlight and lacy slime,
moments sliding between noise
and silence, blurring together.

The snail appeared... Oh, the weight
it must carry every where!
Still with no permanent address,
everywhere it rests is a homecoming.

Almost immediately things
broke down. The snail could not
keep up, didn't want to, saw
no sense in either noise

or silence... Littlest one, I must
scale down to your level. It is
a fault of being human to always
want to ascend higher and higher.

I see you now, poised in a path
of your own devising, half-enclosed
within your tightly coiled shell,
your four antennae whipping back

and forth. Can those tiny,
hidden eyes see me whole?
For what am I really? A friendly
giant who bustles and struts

in the open air, bereft of
home, careless of his footsteps?
Or am I just an immense
shadow, blocking you from every sunbeam?

Topic(s) of this poem: natural

Poet's Notes about The Poem

I have a dear friend who wrote a collection of poems she titled SNAIL WATCHING. In these poems Rosemary pays attention to snails and other creatures too small to be seen and too insignificant to matter. After reading her poems, I cannot take even a snail for granted. My poem acknowledges this.

Comments about Snail Talk For Rosemary by Daniel Brick

  • Bri Edwards (6/26/2017 1:43:00 PM)

    from MyPoemList into my/our July 2017's showcase. Thanks. i commented earlier.

    bri :)
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  • S.zaynab Kamoonpuri (8/7/2014 12:20:00 AM)

    Wow what a metaphorical thoughtprovoking poem! Kudos. I admire how u say we could be blockin the sunlight frm the lil snail. Yes we shudnt stamp and crush the lil tings. (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (8/4/2014 1:35:00 AM)

    This poem contains some immaculate lines of exactitude and analogy! I love the way you planned your words to glide with the ease of a snail moving along its track of secreted mucus(and I must admit they do!)
    I also like the way the snail's littleness is contrasted wih man's assumed greatness and how against the natural tendency of man, the poet is willing to scale down to its level!
    The closing lines are just lovely where the poet wonders if these little creatures of Nature see man as a friendly giant or an immense shadow blocking from them every sunshine! Lovely write that reminds man to be kind and considerate to all lowly forms!
    (Report) Reply

  • Sana Ghostana (7/28/2014 1:51:00 PM)

    Finally! A snail poem! I love the way you presented this and made something as small (and adorable) as a snail become beautiful and poetic. While also giving it more of a deeper mind by wondering how it perceives you. This is now one of my favorite poems because it's so well written! (And I love snails.) I give an enthusiastic 'YAY! ' to your poem Mr.Brick. Excellent job!
    -SOH/Snail Lover
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (7/26/2014 8:16:00 PM)

    it must carry every where! ...did you mean 'every where' to be two words?

    i 'love': everywhere it rests is a homecoming. ...............oh! you see that in this line you DID connect everywhere.

    Or am I just an immense
    shadow, blocking you from every sunbeam? ......nice! i 'hate' when people assume they know WHY other animals do what they do. in the same way, it is nice to have you NOT assume you know what the snail does or does not sense.

    perhaps you or one of your readers would enjoy my

    Being A Snail....... [Snails; from the snail's 'mouth'; wisdom; a touch of humour/humor]

    Or, from another branch of the animal kingdom]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

    Salamander...... [Nature; A Salamander (Of Course!) : Confronting Nature; Almost Short]

    thanks for sharing the poem and the poet note. :) bri
    (Report) Reply

  • Brian Johnston (7/26/2014 11:28:00 AM)

    A delightful poem Daniel! But who is Rosemary and can we see her poems too? Some things just have to be shared you know, like 'Dawn In Nebraska.' To not do so would certainly be a crime against humanity in the Hague. They have the power to execute poets too you know! (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Poem Edited: Saturday, September 20, 2014

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