Ameer Mcarthur

Solitary Confinement

Heart to heart
Conjoin…
Separation?
Don’t even think
About it
You remove one…
The other
Still living
But…
Paralyzed
For life
See what you have done…
Have some heart
Perform me
Euthanasia
Free me
Alas…

Poem Submitted: Friday, September 12, 2008
Poem Edited: Sunday, September 28, 2008

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4,7 out of 5
17 total ratings
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Comments about Solitary Confinement by Ameer Mcarthur

  • Jester's PJester's P (4/1/2009 3:24:00 AM)

    nice work it has a power to convey the message of love and loving.

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  • Feroz Rather (1/27/2009 11:06:00 PM)

    dear ameer, the poem doesn't complicate enough to develop as an independent statement of art or lamentation............!

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  • Patrick LadbrookePatrick Ladbrooke (12/29/2008 2:03:00 AM)

    The title is clever and the thoughts are strong. I confess modern style is not my cup of tea - my head is still buried in the works of older poets, as you can probably tell from my work. As a start it certainly has strength and character, I wish you every success with it, and all those that follow.

    Patrick

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  • Naidz Ladia (12/26/2008 4:04:00 AM)

    this s a nice one...its not the length of the poem that counts but the meaning...ths is a good start for a promising poems...
    CHEERS...

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  • Hades Pandemonium (10/5/2008 6:44:00 AM)

    A wonderful start. In a little amount of words u seemed to have poured out ur feelings into this poem. It gives of a pretty clear image of what ur trying to say. Excellent piece....Keep writing: -)

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  • Danny Reynolds (10/5/2008 4:46:00 AM)

    I know we are often encouraged to minimalise with our words. Say so much with so little. I don't often agree with that doctrine. Rather a middle ground with more metaphor, at the risk of over emphasis. I think your sentiments are clear enough Ameer, but don't think the piece is worthy of all the plaudits. Sometimes people are overly nice when asked to visit a stranger's work. Without more of your work to make a real comparison, I'll have to sit on the fence.
    All the best
    Danny

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  • Estrella Baldemosa (10/5/2008 4:26:00 AM)

    deep feelings expressed in few words...good job! i'm looking forward to seeing more of your poetry.

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  • Greenwolfe 1962 (10/5/2008 4:21:00 AM)

    I gave it an 8 and recommend it. The content is compelling. I would
    have given it a 9 if the structure you chose had been mor suitable.
    In any writing like this, some words and lines are more important than others.
    It makes the poem special if you place the important words and lines
    in a way that increases their impact. You just lined them up down the page.
    By what method, I could not tell. Always, take note of this, if you intend to do this often. It can really affect the reader positively or negatively.

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  • Layla Joseph (10/5/2008 4:15:00 AM)

    i love this poem i can really relate
    i hope to read some more of ur work in the future
    10

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  • Stephanie Saba (9/28/2008 4:55:00 PM)

    very nicely written. :)

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  • Gargi Saha (9/28/2008 10:38:00 AM)

    Well written. Enjoyed it.

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  • Emily OldhamEmily Oldham (9/28/2008 8:53:00 AM)

    Pretty deep... thought provoking... great, thanks
    Athena

    *** words will change the world ***

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  • Aiswarya. T.anishAiswarya. T.anish (9/28/2008 8:24:00 AM)

    Sabash! (well done) i enjoyed reading this poem. a very good poem. keep writing.

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  • David ThreadgoldDavid Threadgold (9/28/2008 8:24:00 AM)

    Hi Ameer. very strong for your first peice well put together with a powerful message plain to see. well worthy of a 10 Regards Dave T.

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  • Anna jonson (9/28/2008 8:12:00 AM)

    goood meaningful poem...enjoyed..keep going

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  • Lonnie Hicks (9/27/2008 8:17:00 PM)

    Ameer
    This is indeed powerful. There can be no clearer statement of the cost of seperation and love.
    Seperation and it aftermath describes human character as does love. The two are the heart of the human adventure and is what has made the human species prosper.

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  • Doussou Camara (9/24/2008 6:15:00 PM)

    i love the ending it rocks 'perform me euthanasia, free me alas'

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  • Torturous Fear (9/21/2008 7:09:00 PM)

    not bad. It needs to have more purpose. A clearer story, per se'.
    It could also be much better if it were a bit longer.

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  • Ankit Mathur (9/21/2008 12:55:00 AM)

    nicely written,
    can feel the pain of separation...
    you must write more...

    this was good. atleast to me it was...

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  • Mimzy Sue (9/20/2008 6:22:00 PM)

    nice work, keep it up

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