I hear myself shouting
Where am I? What am I doing here?
Yet my voice does not reach those around me
Locked in a cell, the walls are closing in on me
I cry out for help, the desperation to reach out to someone
I shout my lungs out
To be only greeted by the stares of those around me
Only if I could get them to listen to me
I go out of my way
Love is all I am asking for
Sympathy is all I get.
I wonder, but why can’t I get across to them
Only to notice the mask around them
Shielding them from all emotions
I think to myself I need one of those
To be accepted by them
Loneliness is wrapping a cocoon around me
I am trying desperately to break out of it
Only to realise the harder I try and faster the web spins around me
I pray to the creator to help me out,
I try hard to listen to his voice inside me
And then it dawns the voice long stopped responding to me
I scream and struggle till the nightmare ends
Only to wake up and see all those masked people around me.
You asked me to comment on your poem. Well, I think it is powerful and it flows well. I am not really a 'proper' poet, so I find it hard to say anything more constructive than that. Also it sounds as if you have had very personal experiences that I have not. It would be interesting to see some comments from people who have faced similar problems. Good luck in your future writing!
scream and struggle till the nightmare ends Only to wake up and see all those masked people around me...... good write andheart touching. first attempt is very good and I must grace it with 10 rad mine dead nights, you go alone and what I m doing on earth
fear filled piece.....to be alone......in a dungeon....tears and fear....good piece...describing the fear and chaos of the world of today.....good write :)
I love this, this reminds me of myself when i was age 6-9, i always felt lonely like i was cooped up in cage, this poem reminded me of that feeling.10/10.
Hi my new poet, this is your words. so you shouldn't tell all your emtion.make it a littel short.hope next time, to be more vivid and most light.good. write. S.E
Oh no! That was a pleasant read, it didn't strike me until afterwards how long it was, which is good because I am a lazy reader, but you gripped my attention until the last.: -)
we may just be watching the birth ofaq great poet.. nice
There are some very vivid images and trouble emotions here. It is a compelling and powerful write - very promising if, as you say, this is the first poem you have ever written. Wishing you every success with your future pieces. S :)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Harjeev Do you like in your nighttmare itself? Dont you want awake? poem is nice, keep writing and sumbmit more. When time permits pls go thru my 'Smudge of Blood' Regards, Nooruddeen