Elizabeth Jacqueline Mpanga

Rookie - 431 Points (27th June,1984 / Zambia, Kabwe)

Some Dreams Should Not Come True - Poem by Elizabeth Jacqueline Mpanga

When I was young I used to dream that one day I would meet this guy
He would be charming, exciting, popular, handsome, and fun to be around
I dreamt that we would have kids and he would love me hopelessly

I moved from guy to guy
Looking for my special man. The man in my dreams
I have been with wonderful guys before but my heart was restless
I kept on looking for my dream man

I woke up one day and he was staring me straight in the face
I was so excited; I could not believe my luck
I held him and I promised never to let him go
He promised back and I believed him

I could see a lot of flaws in him but I over looked him
He never called me to say hi or find out how I was doing
He never said sweet things to me
He was rude to me and mean

But I ignored it
I thought he would change. I thought that’s how love should be
He ever cared or called when I was sick
One time last Christmas I got so sick I almost died and he never called me

I spent half the time crying hoping that he will change
He never had respect for me
He made me feel so needy and desperate
He ignored me and my feelings. He never wanted to do things with me

He only wanted me or said he loved me when he wanted sex
I gave in to this rape over and over thinking he would finally get to love me
It went on and I kept on holding on

Slowly I started to die inside
I was resentful
I was ashamed of myself. My self esteem died out
I felt not good enough

I felt ugly
He made me feel insane like there was something wrong with me
All this while he never saw me dying slowly inside
I became bitter and my bitterness started consuming my smile

He never stopped for one minute to look at how much I had changed
He would always break his promises and I would say it ok hoping that one day he will realize it wasn’t
But he never did, he just kept on living his life while I tugged along
I cried and I prayed for so long that he just sees how much I love him
He never did

My love started burning out slowly and I was becoming resentful
I blamed myself for everything that was not right
He tortured me emotionally because he knew he could
And I let him

My spirit got battered and broken
But I kept on holding on with all I had
Kept wishing that things would get better if he saw how much I wanted it to work
Finally love slipped out of my hands

That’s when I saw all the scars I had
Scars of broken promises, hurt pride, murdered self esteem
I had bruises all over
I looked old and weary
This love was not worth it.

i wrote this for all the women out there holding on to a failing dream or love. let go its not worth it.some dreams are simply meant to be dreams.

Comments about Some Dreams Should Not Come True by Elizabeth Jacqueline Mpanga

  • (6/18/2008 2:14:00 PM)

    You can still have 'That' dream....hopefully you have learned from all this....and that there is someone out there....We just have to make the right choices....I've learned to the hard way....you can not change them...or think that 'Love' is the answer and that they will change for that love....that old saying holds so true....'You can't teach an old dog new tricks'....well maybe: O) ....but then thet tend to fall back into their old habits....RISE UP! ...set your standards higher...you deserve it...hugs (Report)Reply

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  • Sathyanarayana M V S (6/17/2008 5:22:00 AM)

    Rolling stones gather no mass. Visit India(South) ...see our culture. you will be surprised. why we live happily inspite of not being very rich.
    best of luck

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Poem Edited: Tuesday, June 17, 2008

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