Song For Glenda Poem by Titon Rahmawan

My dear Glenda, may I sit here with you, between these cold and silent tables and chairs? I don't want to start a conversation about rain, but I'll tell you a dream;

Is a hatchling that sinks in the sand on a hidden beach. She was longing for a beautiful house, like the shadow of the sea that she once lived with her father and mother. But she forgot where. The house felt distant and unreachable from her memory.

Then she went into a dream. When she was shivering with cold from fever and her father came to visit her, brought a blanket of moss and flew with the whirlwind that blew from nowhere.

She knows, she misses all the events that keep her memory on the meaning of happiness. She didn't want to feel sad or alone anymore. But she found nothing in her past, other than a gaping recess that offered nothing but darkness.

She couldn't see her own face. Not a smile or even the clear dreamy eyes depicted in her dream. Just a gloomy image of a broken heart, pain and perhaps anger.

For some reason, she didn't want to look back anymore, but she couldn't. Every time she looked away, what she saw was a clock pendulum moving from right to left and a timepiece moving backwards step by step.

She wanted to hurt herself, with shards of rock and sharp needles like the thorns of sea urchins. She lost all the love vocabulary that her mother had taught her in the past. All the prayer sentences that she seemed to be forced to say just to understand what her own existence meant. Why do all beings have to live, just to understand the meaning of suffering?

She's just a hatchling who doesn't know how to deal with the wild out there. Not knowing how to interpret the worry behind the threat of the seagull's screams, or perhaps the restlessness of the rustling of the sand, which hints at nothing but silence. O chaotic world, why is it now so scary and unfriendly.

However, the dream must end. When she met her quietly fondling the shores of the sea and the surging waves that never stopped singing. Suddenly, she no longer felt alone. Suddenly, she felt the caress of God's hand touch the vulnerable shell on her back. And then she saw, the sun rising slowly, as God parted the seas with just a smile.