egi david perdana

Rookie (17 december 1989 / indonesia)

Sparta Praha Books 1: 1 (Lyric) - Poem by egi david perdana

purple violet breaking the gold sand
praising voice in ocean fog
his colour is blue, like you're eyes old light
barrien on the tingles blood crystal powder
not tick, silent, and, death
I blowing it and then trying to gropes
a broken wave gets louder singing
and then that gold sand changed as black
his colour is black, like heave acid
wilting between the raging seeds of sky
not tick, silent, and death
then that grass trying to growing between air
besides the haze progressively close blessing
curing crystal of laureled brown
his colour is brown, like slime lamellar
breaking the falling rain who curing wound
not tick, silent, and death

Comments about Sparta Praha Books 1: 1 (Lyric) by egi david perdana

  • Dr.subhendu Kar (10/4/2008 5:45:00 AM)

    blowing it and then trying to gropes
    a broken wave gets louder singing
    wonderful expression by the rare imagery of nature, wllpenned,10+, thanmks for sharing
    (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • (10/4/2008 3:43:00 AM)

    Not bad at all, much improvement Egi... (Report) Reply

  • (9/28/2008 12:29:00 AM)

    You have great imagery, although as Allie says, sometimes illusory...Coach (Report) Reply

  • David Threadgold (9/27/2008 5:46:00 AM)

    Hi There. at one with the sea and in tune with it. an interesting peice well done. Regards Dave T (Report) Reply

  • (9/26/2008 6:26:00 AM)

    You have a great love of the color and sound of the words you use, though in some lines, the sense is illusive. Nonetheless your poem is very lyrical and your emotional connection to the ocean is strongly made and enthusiastically delivered. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (Report) Reply

  • (9/25/2008 7:38:00 AM)

    this is great i realy like the formatung and the feeling behind this peice (Report) Reply

  • Sathyanarayana M V S (9/25/2008 1:49:00 AM)

    great write..I wish to listen it when sang......10 (Report) Reply

  • Sulaiman Mohd Yusof (9/24/2008 11:35:00 PM)

    Not tick, silent and death...........praising voice in ocean fog are some good ridden words here, worth a notice! ! ! ! good job egi! ! ! ! A 10. (Report) Reply

  • (9/24/2008 10:56:00 PM)

    likely mood, there should be another chapter, right? (Report) Reply

  • Jester's P (9/24/2008 10:30:00 PM)

    nice poem- powerfull enough to to remind us of oue 'rise and fall; birth and death' the human reality....keep it up pal (Report) Reply

  • (9/24/2008 10:18:00 PM)

    Lovely use of colour and change. Cudos! I love it! The words make make more sense if you space and group them into verses though. Like for each colour has its own verse. Other than that BRILLIANT! (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Poem Edited: Saturday, March 28, 2009

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