Ten Years Poem by Amanda Lukas

I wish I could tell you
that it gets easier.
But I've realized after ten years
not only that it doesn't get any easier,
but that the memories
begin to fade a little
only to be replaced with guilt.
Ten years ago,
I could've sworn I'd never forget
our phone number.
Positively,
I could find my way
through our old house with my eyes closed.

Now?
Now I can only remember the feelings.
It's as if my mind
intentionally tunes out
all of the details which I strived so hard
not to forget.
I am left longing
for the warmth of her arms around me,
for the smell of cigarette smoke
in her overcoat,
and for the sound of her
heartbeat,
all forever gone.