'Test Results' Poem by Linda Winchell

I went to my Doctor early today
To get the results of some tests they ran!
One was called an Ultrasound
And the other, something called a Kitty Cat Scan?

They also drew five vials of blood from me!
So much, I wasn't sure I would be able to stand!
And they all came back negative!
Along with the Ultrasound and Scan!

But they did say however
That I have been diagnosed with I.B.S!
She explained it was caused from a bad diet
But most of all, it was caused from STRESS!

I.B.S causes me to have stomach cramps
And GAS! , We won't get into that!
All I can say is you wouldn't want to be around me!
When I'm having my I.B.S. GAS ATTACK!

It's like heading face first into a wind storm!
Blowing your facial features way out of wack!
Then your eyes begin to water!
And your lips go flapping wind blown, Flap-pity, Flap!

So now that you know I'm not going to pass away soon
From some dreaded horrible disease!
Come on over to visit but don't stand to close!
I can't hold back my I.B.S., with just a butt cheek SQUEEZE!