Spike Milligan

(16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002 / Ahmednagar)

The Abc - Poem by Spike Milligan

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."

Comments about The Abc by Spike Milligan

  • (5/30/2019 3:01:00 AM)

    the readers voice sounds like a robot (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (3/20/2019 6:21:00 PM)

    this is the best thing ever (Report)Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (3/9/2019 12:29:00 PM)


    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • (6/6/2018 11:58:00 AM)

    This poem is amazing, I love it (Report)Reply

    2 person liked.
    3 person did not like.
  • (3/20/2018 5:25:00 AM)

    why is it about the alphabet and why has it got so much speech in it (Report)Reply

    3 person liked.
    4 person did not like.
  • Anita Khelawan (12/7/2017 1:09:00 PM)

    I truly enjoyed this poem... Especially when u wrote W is twice V's age. (Report)Reply

    6 person liked.
    6 person did not like.
  • (8/1/2016 3:20:00 AM)

    Nice use of alphabets to write an interesting poem, thanks for sharing. (Report)Reply

    11 person liked.
    4 person did not like.
  • Kevin Patrick (7/27/2015 9:11:00 PM)

    Its been knowing that Monty Python ripped off pieces of Milligan's Material, but they could not steal his genius just make forgeries out of it. This if F Brilliant! (Report)Reply

    9 person liked.
    6 person did not like.
  • (7/27/2015 4:53:00 PM)

    Made me smile. A cute and clever. Thank you for sharing! ES (Report)Reply

    12 person liked.
    4 person did not like.
  • Rajnish Manga (7/27/2015 11:12:00 AM)

    Very interesting and amusing to revisit the alphabet once again. It's amazing. (Report)Reply

    13 person liked.
    5 person did not like.
  • Edward Kofi Louis (7/27/2015 6:50:00 AM)

    Look at the time! With the muse of life. Nice work with A, B, C. (Report)Reply

    14 person liked.
    5 person did not like.
  • Ramesh T A (7/27/2015 3:27:00 AM)

    Nice conversation among alphabetical letters in the school room in the midnight! Humour nice to enjoy! (Report)Reply

    15 person liked.
    7 person did not like.
  • (5/30/2012 5:37:00 AM)

    gd poem a very good poem writer (Report)Reply

    28 person liked.
    10 person did not like.
  • (11/19/2009 5:18:00 AM)

    Spike was so very erratic i guess he just forgot about some letters. After all, he was depressed for a lot of his life. True genius is never a smooth road : =( (Report)Reply

    18 person liked.
    21 person did not like.
  • (5/13/2009 11:36:00 AM)

    Spike Milligans dead deary (Report)Reply

    12 person liked.
    33 person did not like.
  • (5/6/2008 3:40:00 PM)

    HAHAHA OMG! ! ! that's realli funny in a poetic sense. Im doing this poem 4 a project. does anyone know his email? ? ? :) (Report)Reply

    17 person liked.
    17 person did not like.
  • (6/3/2007 2:05:00 PM)

    kinda funny. were is the m and n though. (Report)Reply

    19 person liked.
    11 person did not like.
  • (2/15/2005 11:23:00 PM)


    14 person liked.
    13 person did not like.
Read all 18 comments »

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Read poems about / on: cat

Poem Submitted: Friday, January 3, 2003

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