The Passage Of Time Poem by Eila Mahima Jaipaul

my sense of loss and sadness is particularly sharp.
there is none who can comprehend the pain that I feel.
compounded by grief
no one to call with cheerful greetings
no one to sympathize with paperweights and bad ties
no one to hug and hold with whispered words of love
the deep longing for wanting
the cavernous space that conditions my heart lay empty and wasted
used and unwanted.
that which I have to give is taken in short order
used and set aside until the next time its needed
a curt thanks is what I have to cling to
its my nature to impart happiness
to ease pain
to stop suffering
to care
my warmth and clarity of color is reflected back at me in hazy dull shades of gray.
hastily cast glances with just enough there to make me believe.
retreating again to my shell, I listen to the sounds of joys.
their shards of delight run through me.
delicately weaving their way through my skin.
intricate pricks to remind me of waxing and waning moons
the passage of time
silent in its knowledge that destiny, unavoidable as it may be, is still ruled by choices.