The Tin Opener! Poem by John Knight

This poem was part of an exercise on a poetry course. We all had to write a poem about something in the Kitchen. There are very few poems about the humble 'Ouvre-boite' so it should make the top five hundred. You've all got one so please post a comment and vote!

What is a Tin Opener?
A device for opening tins!
Equisite - Effective - Essential
Which came first - the Tin opener or or the Tin?
You can't possibly have one without the other - can you?

Perhaps they evolved - symbiotically
Tinned Food Manufacturers simultaneously
Manufacturing- Tin Openers!
Alas History - which so often dissilousions us
Shows conclusively that tinned food was invented in 1813.

The ubiquitous Tin Opener - to its shame
Was not invented until forty years later!
No wonder so many people starved to death
In the dreaded 19th Century!
It is a tragedy I have only experienced ONCE!

Camping in the 1950's - miles from civilization
Alternatives sprang to hand - Knives - Axes - Boulders
Cut fingers - briusied toes- the tins contents?
Still stubbornly in-situ - all our food like us canned!
I sympathised with all hunger strikers!

IImagine opening a Tin of SPAM without the key?
J C Harvel - of Illinois invented SPAM in 1937 - with the key!
Alas keys on tins of SPAM and Sardines are not infallible
Have you ever tried opening a tin of SPAM - when the key breaks?
SPAM sans clef - has zero nutritional value!

In case we ever get caught with our tin openers down
We now have the 'Pull Ring Can' - lethal as a chain saw!
So we have to buy 'Ring Pull Puller' - $5 from Wall-Mart
An electric can opener - $25 also from Wall-Mart
Why must progress always be so so electrical?

Toothbrushes - Tin Openers - Carving Knives - even Vibrators!
No wonder power cuts are boosting the birth rate.
In scientific terms a tin opener is just a lever
Operating a linear wedge manually. Or a circular wedge
Operated manually by a butterfly lever - SIMPLE!

He should have been the President - or perhaps the King
'He did his very best for us' - we hear the people sing
'He did his very best for us - a man who always wins'
So hats off to the Genius - He's wiser the Arhenius!
Hats off to the man who made AN OPENER FOR TINS!