karen banks

Rookie (6/3/96 / chicago)

The Top A Very Loney Place - Poem by karen banks

i was rushin to get there but what i didnt know
the top is a place where not to many people go
it is very loney but i am happy i made it
but dont get me wrong im not trying to degrade it
did all i had to do but success is my reward
but now that im here i am very bored
i see the people below me and wonder when will they get here
some are not moving and some are very near
a very loney place indeed but im not complaining
ima keep doing good and the top is where im staying
its hard to get up here and not alot of people make it
im a very lucky girl and im very proud to say it
the top is very loney but i dont mind
i foucse on my work so i dont get behind

Poet's Notes about The Poem

i made this poem up as i was typing

Comments about The Top A Very Loney Place by karen banks

  • Neko Girl (4/17/2012 9:48:00 AM)

    this is awesome you have a direct talent with your words you place them where u want them to go (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • <font color=00FFCC>teal Sky</font> (4/17/2012 3:14:00 AM)

    yeah, that's very true, but that is the only reason why it's called the top (because not everyone can reach there)
    and the new thing i liked was the expression of being alone there, with a few compadres.
    it's a good feeling being at the top, but it has it's rules too.
    good poem.you've written it nicely
    (Report) Reply

  • Martin O'Neill (4/16/2012 2:22:00 PM)

    Karen, on a philosophical note you have caught the paradox faced by so many who achieve fame, notoriety, success and recognition. They spend all their energy climbing the ladder without checking to see whether or not it is leaning against the right wall. This helps to explain why so many popstars and young actors/resses hit the booze and drugs. Their lives are empty without REAL people who they care for and love. Wonderful but sad in the reiteration of the refrain the top is very lonely but I don't mind I think this is the truly poignant part of your poem. I would rather have friends and be second. (Hey! You didn't think I was going to settle for average did you? ! !)
    As Allyson said, pay attention to the spelling. It's lonely, not loney, focussed, not foucse, rushing, not rushin and finally 'not to many people' should be 'not TOO many people'. (I'm a wee bit retentive on spelling as I used to edit a magazine for the Army and put together publicity stuff for some people and am currently redefining myself in the field of copywriting so I have an in-depth knowledge of the power of words and the underrated power of punctuation. I'll post a poem later to illustrate.
    Apart from that, great stuff..
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/16/2012 11:52:00 AM)

    when you get to the top of one of life's mountains and you feel yourself alone and bored then the best advice I have ever heard is to look out at all the other mountains yet to be conquered. It'll keep you busy and certainly challenged for a very long time.

    Small critique: clean up the spelling....other than that it's a good write in a philosophical vein I found.

    Blessings and keep writing!
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/16/2012 11:37:00 AM)

    not to feel lonely upon reaching the top, one has to take people along the journey. when one wins the battle where every other is perished, is it a victory? give place to all urs n they're there to protect you from being lonely! i like ur spirit young lady! (Report) Reply

  • Aditi Khandelwal (4/16/2012 11:12:00 AM)

    Being on top feels good but remember being too proud about it is not good...
    anyways nice poem...
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 16, 2012

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