Under Microscope Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Doctor Hammond...
I think you should look at this.

The research team seems to be deadlocked,
In disagreement!

Some of us have counted 632 hairs,
On his left buttocks.
While others...
Performing the same task,
Have located 745 on the right.
Clearly in violation,
Of our 'equal hairs on each cheek' policy.

Plus...
There are seven,
And not the 3 moles on his right thigh...
As was earlier reported by the media.

However...
And 'this' is the biggest disparity,
That has dumbfounded us all!

His birth date!
And where that 'had' occurred?
That poses to be the biggest dilemma!
And heightens with suspicion...
Those gnawing questions raised!
And...
There is not a single baby footprint,
Anywhere that can be found.

But listen...
This is the clencher!
Under microscope...
None of us can determine,
If the 'H' in Hawaii had been lower case...
Before it had been changed into the higher.
Since the ink used in the printing of his birth certificate...
Appears to be a bit easy to lift when water is applied.
Apparently not water soluble.
AND 'not' on 100 pound bond!
See how it smudges and spreads?
The paper?
Is not 'water marked' although notorized.

Also...
A '10' font was used!
Shouldn't that have been an 'eleven'?

And Doctor Hammon...
No one on either side of this team,
Can say,
Whether or not...
The doctor who performed the delivery,
Had been a practicing Buddist...
Orthodox Jew,
Southern Baptist from the Bible Belt...
Or,
Drove a Volvo!
Which further criminalizes this absurdity,
From our 'detailed' point of view!

I believe we have enough evidence,
To conclude our investigation.
And announce that the newly elected president,
Is NOT truly a naturalized citizen of this country!
As has been widely reported.
And...
We are going to review our findings,
And present them to the Supreme Court.
Based upon the findings a slew of irregularities,
Discovered.
And using the best scientific methods to date!
Based upon our conservative standards...
As we proceed to seek DNA,
From any playground where he played.
And/or diaper anyone may have been kept,
As a souvenir!

'If only we could uncover samplings,
From the womb...
To conclude our efforts! '