Unintentional Conclusion Poem by ivor or ivor.e hogg

My time has come perhaps to die.
I will not give in easily.
Though I can guess the reason why
Someone’s been hired to silence me

I am no longer in the game
I have retired quietly
I thought nobody knew my name.
I was mistaken obviously.

I’m not a fool I know the score.
I must kill him or he’ll kill me
It does not matter any more
someone has breached my secrecy.

I know he’s out there watching me.
Observing my daily routine,
he seeks an opportunity
make his killing quick and clean.

A single shot that’s all it takes.
A job he has been paid to do
I can’t afford to make mistakes.
Though he’s already made a few.

He does not know I am aware.
He pits his skill against my skill
and if he did I would not care
He has a contract to fulfil.

He has been paid and must succeed
to keep his reputation.
There’s no excuse which he can plead
for failure of completion.

Unless he dies by accident.
It is quite likely that he may.
In fact I am quite confident.
A stranger who has gone astray

and lost his footing carelessly
To fall five hundred feet or more
into an unforgiving sea.
To be cast up along the shore.

Nothing at all to do with me
Another loser in life’s game.
I will change my identity
and move my home base just the same.

I’m rather sad I liked it here
I’d settled in quite happily.
I think it best to disappear
Now that I know they’re on to me.

I can’t escape from my dark past
they’ll track me down eventually.
Though as the peaceful years rolled passed.
I hoped they had forgotten me.

I should have known they don’t forgive
Although I acted honourably
they can’t afford to let me live.
My past employers my country.

I know too much they don’t want known.
They’re not prepared to take a chance
That all their secrets might be blown.
That’s why I’m dying here in France

No one will guess the reason why
and aging Englishman was shot
by accident apparently.
My masters know that it was not

I kept the faith true to my word.
Their secrets were quite safe with me
To think I’d speak was quite absurd.
They should have had more faith in me

This is my only legacy
there’s nothing else that I can leave
The records I kept accurately
were not intended to deceive.

You have a choice you can believe
all that my masters will deny
I don’t believe they can survive
such negative publicity.

Its truly not revenge I seek
I want to set the records straight
My confessions are not unique
all countries employ men like me.

To carry out nefariously
Our orders which originate
but are transmitted secretly.
From high officials of the state.

We are the willing tools they use
to influence affairs of state.
But they distrust us then they choose
To silence us before too late

They think they’ve won but they have lost
Memoirs published posthumously
Will prove to them there is a cost
They could have simply trusted me

Now I am dead I can confess
the things I did for my country
and open up the whole damn mess
to closer public scrutiny.

They will plead state security
and claim their actions justified.
That’s why they murder men like me.
Because we can prove that they lied.

Our leaders thrive on secrecy.
Which they maintain at any cost.
They have no hint of decency
all sense of honour has been lost.

They practice rank dishonesty
in order to achieve their ends.
They lie both to the enemy
and to their allies and their friends.

When I decided I would not
obey their orders any more.
The verdict was I should be shot
There was no way they could restore.

The naïve trust I used to show.
My faith in their morality
because by then I’d come to know
Their corrupt veniality.

I am beyond their punishment
I’ll answer to a higher court
who will examine my intent
A court where justice can’t be bought.

Though I will plead in my defence.
That I was young and truly thought
that those I held in reverence
were Just men of the finest sort


When I discovered they were not.
My conscience would not let me stay.
Which left me in awkward spot
they would not let me break away.

Though I escaped they followed me.
I knew they would that’s why I ran.
evading them successfully.
But I became a hunted man.

I knew in time they would find me
That’s why I wrote my last report
My memoirs are my life story
non fiction of a different sort.

Although they’ll try they won’t suppress
the facts and figures I reveal.
The hidden truths which I express
are part and parcel of the deal.

To gain the most publicity
upon the international scene
Published simultaneously.
The Memoirs of a Dead Has Been.

Will hit the headlines every where.
The printers sworn to secrecy
The books are stockpiled here and there..
My masters should have trusted me.

A quiet life was all I asked
I did not seek publicity
But now they’ll find their selves unmasked.
Because they tried to silence me.

29-Dec-08

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