Cathleen Hodgkinson

Rookie (June/64 / New England, USA)

What I Didn'T Ask For - Poem by Cathleen Hodgkinson

I didn't ask for that pristine wedding gown,
that carefree honeymoon.
For my fairy tale was just a gold ring.

I didn't ask for the ridicule, belittlement,
your cold, icey, disapproving stares of disgust.

I didn't ask to be the owner of your unhappiness.
Your claims that I diminshed your quality of life.

I didn't ask to overhear the words you said to our little one
as your ex-wife drove away....'that lady used to love me'.

I didn't ask for little by little, for you to dismantle
my already broken soul.
For you gave me love only under condition.

Was I so disappointing?
Was I so undeserving?
I tried, tried, tried so hard.
For I never knew I was so destructive.

Someday you'll get what you didn't ask for.

Comments about What I Didn'T Ask For by Cathleen Hodgkinson

  • Rajnish Manga (10/3/2015 12:38:00 AM)

    The poem written by Cathleen and the well meaning comments by John Richter make it amply clear that both of them are intellectually gifted people. They have expressed themselves in a dignified manner. We can neither be a judge nor a jury. (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Kim Barney (10/2/2015 2:16:00 PM)

    My heart goes out to you, Cathleen, and to John Richter, who left the great comment below. I certainly feel blessed to have been married to the same woman for almost 49 years now.
    Great poem, and I especially loved the simple, one-line ending. Fantastic!
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/2/2015 7:04:00 AM)

    This is poem is incredibly powerful.... I love it! With that said, though..... If I didn't know better than I would say this was written by my ex-wife.... And though it depicts a horrible, terrible husband I would say this: my ex-wife is crazy. Trying to interpret what someone else is thinking based on how they 'look' - or how one interprets how they look - is seldom accurate and often imbued with the viewers own inadequacies and feelings of unworthiness. How does one interpret stares of disgust? If I hadn't spent 27 years being tortured by constant accusations and insults based on such feelings than I might think this poem has very great points. Although I still think it is an incredibly powerful poem and enjoyed it immensely...I'm just saying there are two sides to every story. FYI - before leaving - my ex-wife told all our neighbors that I had a girlfriend and that we were plotting to kill her. I didn't have a girlfriend - but that doesn't matter. My wife merely suspected that I did based on how I looked or acted, in her opinion, and she wanted the neighbors to keep a sharp lookout for any women coming to our house when she was not at home in order to prove her suspicions correct. Which was far more important to her treating me with respect. (Report) Reply

  • Rajnish Manga (10/2/2015 5:50:00 AM)

    Despite all the torture and suffering, the poet has portrayed with grace a painful relationship between a man and a woman from the point of view of the lady who has been shorn of her decorum, dreams and dignity at the hands of her rascal husband. Poignant but a great piece of poetry.
    I didn't ask to be the owner of your unhappiness.
    Your claims that I diminshed your quality of life.
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/2/2015 2:38:00 AM)

    as long as young and middle aged human are driven by the effects of hormones, which is called as lust, this kind of poems will come out from the hearts of wounded soul..Nowadays even the matured human behave the same way, which is inappropriate to their age and status as the wise teachers of the societies.

    sad poem with lots of truth..
    (Report) Reply

  • premji premji (11/16/2008 11:19:00 PM)

    beautiful poem
    please read 'alone' by catherine rica cossico.
    both compliment
    (Report) Reply

  • (10/5/2008 11:34:00 PM)

    2 thumbs up on this poem! ! (Report) Reply

  • (9/17/2008 9:16:00 AM)

    love is divine only when it is unconditional...every soul longing...but where to find?
    it would always be peaceful to mind if we learn to live with a rueful grin inside... for marriage is the biggest compromise in life...a poem honest serious and beautiful...a ten for this, Cathy...
    (Report) Reply

  • Dr.subhendu Kar (9/14/2008 11:18:00 PM)

    wonderful exposition of desire within
    as when one sways against strong winds
    yet rocked up by the reeks of time
    the soul refuses to hear the tainted swings.........great write by the life with ingenious imagery, heart when slogged or clogged by the claws of the rueful uncertainties, mind never revels,10-+, thanks for sharing
    (Report) Reply

  • (4/22/2008 9:18:00 PM)

    A pained story, passionately expressed! (Report) Reply

  • (3/25/2008 2:44:00 PM)

    Of course you were not disappointing or undeserving, but one managed to make you feel so. And you had the courage to write down all these feelings in a poem. Bravo! (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, March 14, 2008

Poem Edited: Friday, March 14, 2008

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