***why Am I Holding On*** Poem by Monicalife Martinez

I know who i am,
Why must you change me?
In a world im not accepted,
Yet when im drowning,
You push me under deeper,
Im lost in space,
Nothing feels real,
My body hallow,
But the pain brings me back,
To a time i was small,
Screaming at the tops of my lungs,
I stay hidden,
Trapped in my body desperate for a way out,
Hoping to be saved,
But the world sees me as,
A girl looking for attention,
A girl causing herself pain,
Im a girl who relives pain,
Stuck in a cycle of replays,
Trapped in a mind of a child i can't escape,
Watching cartoons and junk food,
Waiting to be yelled at,
Not understanding it was a different time,
Still im trapped,
Drowning looking for a way out.