Woe, Nellie Poem by Tony Avila Sampson

She wanted a driver's license so Ol' Granny went and applied,
She failed every test, but once again she retried;
'Been waitin' a lifetime to take someone on a good joyride',
'Do you really care who? ' the motor vehicle tester replied;

Her written test, he examined, he looked so very sly,
He said, 'Your score looks good, you just barely got by',
She stood perkin with energy, 'Do ya ever wonder just why? ;
'You passed' caused her to scream and jump up somewhat high;

Still in her bathrob with curlers all around in her hair,
She let out a blood curdling scream. made the public just stare;
She danced all around and soon became very quite bare,
Her curlers were gone, her head shook them all everywhere;

'You must pass one more test and with you I must ride',
The tester looked at her face, she looked outragously bug-eyed;
She held her big bulging eyes open, so very wide,
Then she put on a helmet, that's nothing she'd hide;

She started the engine, her throttle foot weighs now a ton,
She shoved it into gear, burning them tires was so much fun;
At her hair whippin' speeds caused everyone to run,
Her tester cried out, 'Woe Nellie, I think I'm now done! '

Screaming, 'Oh, my toupe'', while out the window it went,
She sideswiped a few cars, now her fenders are bent;
'Sonny boy, look at my roadrage, watch all the cars that I dent! '
'Tell me, why are ya shakin'? Is it some kind of hint? '
'Are ya really sleepin' that peaceful? ' 'How could this be meant? '
'Ya feel cold and mighty stiff, like a statue made of cement'.