Kim Barney Poems

My wife says I need my own den;
She's said it again and again,
For she's always bitchin'
I clutter the kitchen
...

God said Adam, What have you done?
Adam said, I'm not the only one!
The woman made me make a mistake.
Then Eve said, It was caused by the snake.
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I once saw many goats in a tree,
And I asked myself, how can that be?
Is my brain on the loose?
Is he here, Doctor Seuss?
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My sister is a prize-winning poet.
She has won more awards for her poetry
than I could win in the rest of my life
if I lived to be a hundred years old,
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I'd love to sing with Willie;
I know most every song,
and the parts that I'm not sure of,
well, I'd just hum along.
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Don't throw away your dirt
when you throw away your weeds.
That soil that's clinging to the root
is what your garden needs.
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A new salad dressing I spied,
and it was one I'd never tried.
I picked the bottle off the shelf
and read the label to myself:
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I slumbered, tired and weary,
Dreaming of opening my own ice cream store,
While I snored there, plans a-hatching, suddenly there came a scratching,
Some small creature gently scratching, scratching at my bedroom door.
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Here's a secret that I've tried to keep,
and it's caused me to turn in my sleep,
but it's easy to tell
that my birds know me well:
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