Michael Philips


Michael Philips Poems

1. Quitting 3/4/2005
2. Naming The Boat 1/23/2005
3. Go Ahead, Call Me A Pig, I’ve Heard Worse 11/17/2005
4. Instructions For Cheerleaders 10/3/2005
5. Bee Sting 3/20/2005
6. No More Communists To Kick Around Anymore 5/3/2005
7. A Shitty Valentines Day 10/31/2005
8. One Day At The Flea Market 3/28/2005
9. Bagging Kid Charlemagne 3/31/2005
10. Confession To Frank Zappa 5/9/2005
11. Rebirth 5/23/2005
12. Mid-Air Mattress 2/3/2006
13. Paul Klee Drops By 3/7/2005
14. How My Neighbor Deals With Death 4/16/2005
15. Prank 1/6/2005
16. Colleagues Who Die 1/7/2005
17. Last Will 1/9/2005
18. Sports Section 1/15/2005
19. Song Of The Peeping Tom 1/12/2005
20. Reversal 4/8/2005
21. Center Of The Story 5/31/2005
22. The Guys Who Win 6/5/2005
23. Rolling Around 2/11/2005
24. I’ll Still Be Dead 8/9/2005
25. Drum Lessons 10/20/2005
26. What To Say To Your Captor 1/17/2005
27. To Both Of My Wives 1/26/2005
28. Prison As Metaphor 4/16/2005
29. On The Outside 1/19/2005
30. Eulogy Instructions 8/11/2005
31. The Idiot's Funeral 8/17/2005
32. Birth Of Punk Rock 7/9/2005
33. Not Guilty 1/22/2005
34. Julie’s Excommunication 3/1/2005
35. City Planning 2/22/2005
36. Prepare For Landing 6/30/2005
37. Yakinohara Marriage 7/13/2005
38. Evolutionary Chart 7/14/2005
39. The Absence Of Black 4/20/2005
40. Dartmouth Alumni Survey 4/23/2005

Comments about Michael Philips

  • Mare Dylan (3/18/2012 7:04:00 PM)

    Wonderful stuff, keep writing.

    3 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Lori Boulard (11/26/2006 9:15:00 PM)

    I could leave a comment on every one of your poems, Michael, I like them that much, but I'll spare the space and say so here. Your writing is original, tight, and just funny enough to remind me that poetry doesn't have to be dry and 'proper' to be good. Keep it up, my friend. Cheers, Lori

  • Max Reif (12/24/2005 5:52:00 PM)

    I tell you, Michael, I've enjoyed quite a few of your poems-'Route 66' is still my favorite-but just now, clicking through your pages to find your new one, I had more fun with your TITLES than most poems! I'll have to come back and read 'Song of the Peeping Tom', 'Song of the Porn Webmaster', 'Song of the Tabloid Hack', and all the rest.

  • ... ... (12/21/2005 1:12:00 PM)

    Rebirth, I'll Still Be Dead, Getting it Wrong, Cowboys...just some of the poems I've really enjoyed, not least for the playful tones and clever touches in the work...they are humorous, and, in essence i feel, life-affirming, in their own peculiar optimistic and individual way. But possibly the most entertaining thing is your refusal to resort to stock emotional responses.

  • Michael Gessner (4/23/2005 2:03:00 PM)

    Just beginning to look at your titles, 'Dartmouth Alumni Survey, ' 'Melody The Comptroller, ' 'My New Screenplay, ' et. al. & find them strikingly original, resonant-with humor that doubles as entertainment & the Cosmic Laughter of The Profound-as tho' I've stumble thought the door to a Gallery of Undiscovered Things-

  • Lare Austin (1/23/2005 11:49:00 AM)

    Hi Michael...I just read your poem, 'Naming The Boat'. Very well written story...like a good book...I couldn't put it down. Thank you for sharing...and perhaps you might think of putting together a book of poetry. It would do well...

    Lare Austin

Best Poem of Michael Philips

Golf Pro

There are two types of people:
Those who play golf,
And those who recognize it
for the idiotic malpractice that it is,
that recognize it for the land wasting,
water guzzling, pesticide and herbicide
carcinogen drenched
leeching into the groundwater,
sanitized version of nature,
Bob Hope celebrity goofball,
mundane polo shirt and jackass slacks,
elitist, history of bigotry, racism, sexism,
and anti-Semitism, over-priced, over-rated,
time-wasting, posing-as-a-sport
moronic indulgence that it is.
I’m the first type.

Read the full of Golf Pro

The One True Religion

I.
Researchers say Mormons have continued
to posthumously baptize Jewish Holocaust victims
into their faith despite a promise to discontinue the practice

II.
Members who write letters seeking to resign
will be contacted by church leaders to make sure
they're not being pressured, and that they understand

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