Michael Philips

Michael Philips Poems

I set off a stink bomb
At the art opening of bad art.
It was funny how everyone started
Looking around as if they

Your gentle yawn
while reading the sports section
as they fill your prescription.
A light scratch of your nose

There are two types of people:
Those who play golf,
And those who recognize it
for the idiotic malpractice that it is,

I want someone to invent
a coffee table book that
rapidly deteriorates and
transforms itself into something else,

She made a scene at the wedding
Wearing a black leather miniskirt
Upstaging the livid bride
My kids thought she was exciting and cool

Researchers say Mormons have continued
to posthumously baptize Jewish Holocaust victims
into their faith despite a promise to discontinue the practice

Colleagues who die
kept in my rolodex
alive in circulation
flipping round in ritual

You cannot see the upper reaches of Everest
from the base camp, where you acclimatize
with attitude and finger exercises.

Those old communists – the ones in the
triumphant revolutionary posters with
broad shoulders and eyes on the horizon
where the sun is rising on a better world,

The white one purred and was soft.
We gave it a name.
Got hit by a car.
We buried it in back.

Just shut up already about herbal remedies, I told her.
This was on Valentines Day, hours before Sally fed
my dog some herbal medication
and he brewed butt coffee

Sitting on the patio
At Jeff and Melanie’s
Just to be near Melanie
In hopes I would be well positioned

Roll down your window and smile.
Hold it.
Now let me get one with the background of vintage automobiles,
tinted postcards, motels, and Route 66 trying to slake my

I forgot the bug spray
So mosquitoes keep attacking me
Some guy brought a blender for Happy Hour
And some people even bring their TVs

That gray morning I purchased a cheap electric
bass, the man with a friend on the Force
offering color enlargements of a
strangled young woman

As he crosses into
the end zone
and the crowd
ejaculates in rapture,

When people heard
that you sent me poetry
they commented that
you must be a wonderful and sensitive man

I’m giving all my Colombo videos to the library,
I don’t know if they want them,
Perhaps curious folks with time
Will check them out and get hooked,

When your rationale for going to war
turns out to be false,

Saturated in morphine
breathing like a hurt animal
maybe somewhere deep down
at the bottom of the mineshaft

The Best Poem Of Michael Philips

Bad Art

I set off a stink bomb
At the art opening of bad art.
It was funny how everyone started
Looking around as if they
Would somehow be able to see the smell.
People began fanning their faces
With their programs and an Asian
Woman actually held her nose.
When they discovered I was the culprit
They roughly escorted me out
Of the gallery and the owner told me what I
Did was adolescent and stupid.
I said the smell was only bad
In his subjective mind – who’s to say what’s
A good smell and what’s a bad smell? But
He had already gone
Back inside to help air out the
Gallery, which was my intention all along.

Michael Philips Comments

Lare Austin 23 January 2005

Hi Michael...I just read your poem, 'Naming The Boat'. Very well written story...like a good book...I couldn't put it down. Thank you for sharing...and perhaps you might think of putting together a book of poetry. It would do well... Lare Austin

1 0 Reply
Mare Dylan 18 March 2012

Wonderful stuff, keep writing.

3 2 Reply
Lori Boulard 26 November 2006

I could leave a comment on every one of your poems, Michael, I like them that much, but I'll spare the space and say so here. Your writing is original, tight, and just funny enough to remind me that poetry doesn't have to be dry and 'proper' to be good. Keep it up, my friend. Cheers, Lori

2 1 Reply
Max Reif 24 December 2005

I tell you, Michael, I've enjoyed quite a few of your poems-'Route 66' is still my favorite-but just now, clicking through your pages to find your new one, I had more fun with your TITLES than most poems! I'll have to come back and read 'Song of the Peeping Tom', 'Song of the Porn Webmaster', 'Song of the Tabloid Hack', and all the rest.

2 1 Reply
... ... 21 December 2005

Rebirth, I'll Still Be Dead, Getting it Wrong, Cowboys...just some of the poems I've really enjoyed, not least for the playful tones and clever touches in the work...they are humorous, and, in essence i feel, life-affirming, in their own peculiar optimistic and individual way. But possibly the most entertaining thing is your refusal to resort to stock emotional responses.

1 1 Reply
Michael Gessner 23 April 2005

Just beginning to look at your titles, 'Dartmouth Alumni Survey, ' 'Melody The Comptroller, ' 'My New Screenplay, ' et. al. & find them strikingly original, resonant-with humor that doubles as entertainment & the Cosmic Laughter of The Profound-as tho' I've stumble thought the door to a Gallery of Undiscovered Things-

1 0 Reply

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