001 Bird's Eye View

Rating: 4.2

arm’s length away
i could see
threads on your dress
sweat on your legs

close to mine
i could feel
your warmth
i could hear
your heart beats

i give you kiss
you pretend
it didn’t touch
yet, you’re quiet
with close eyes

you give me hug
when i’m not expecting
you wipe off my sweat
and touch my lips

writing on the hill
we are like dots
we don’t mean much
to rejoicing clouds

rocks of love
they’re to stay
above grass
overlooking the bay

... please read the rest of
the seven poems.md

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COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Jayaprakash Panicker 17 December 2008

Dear dalan, YOur words of senses really touch me, and as i went on reading it, i was able to see the person wrting, and i see the person written about, i see the visual and finaly was able to the locale, the sound, smell and even sun. how wonderful your words are. they are being potent enough to make the reader another being the same sensitivity and sensibility. i greatly admire your young words. great dalan, thank you for writing to me introduciing you to me primarily and your poem thereafter. i love your lines. visit me www.merinews.com. look for contributor vaatupura A jayaprakash google for: VAATUPURA OR Jayaprakash A Panicker. thank you very much. jaypeescopies@yahoo.co.in

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Linda Winchell 17 December 2008

Very visual piece of two lovers embracing. Linda

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i guess unconditional love still prevails in this day and age...

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Samuel Chung 04 April 2010

Hello. nice poem! its brief, but then its also powerful! as promised, i will visit, and thank you for telling me what to do, although, sadly to say it didnt work. but anyways. good poem, and hope for more

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Mary Naylor 03 January 2009

I thought this was a beautiful and romantic poem. The imagery was lovely and original.

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*Trusting You* 23 December 2008

this has a lot of images in it. well done enjoyable piece. Crystal

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Juan Carlos Abeti 18 December 2008

inspirational and very well wtitten, great.

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