0031 Ted And Sylvia Meet The Marriage Counsellor Poem by Michael Shepherd

‘Let me not to the marriage of true minds
admit impediment’ – and let me say
first of all, that I’m all for that…
but Dr Freud asked me if I’d call you in –
that is, invite you – for a little chat;
there’ll be no fee, of course…
Sylvia, would you sit over here,
and Ted, you over there?

I’ve read your case notes
which my secretary compiled, from
your previous poems – she’s quite
well-read; indeed, I believe she’s now applied
for a post with Mr. Eliot the poet…

Now I understand you’re both madly in love
and – ahem – can’t wait to ‘get at
one another’ as they say these days …
I guess the ‘Do not Disturb’ notice
may be there for days, ha ha?

but a word of admonition..er.. advice:
although in theory two artists co-habiting
is a great idea in theory – you’ll understand
each others’ situation, help with tax returns,
maybe use the same literary agent –
it’s not all plain sailing: creativity
comes in individual cycles; it’s known
today as ‘biorhythms’; you’re down,
he’s up; he’s down, you’re up

and since you already, Sylvia,
have – harrumph – issues,
these cycles could conflict
quite vigorously; with considerable care
you can make this work
to your advantage; we had marked success
with a previous pair in your situation,
Robert and Elizabeth..

But it will require considerable care,
as I said; and there’s always the chance –
my Hollywood clients face this constantly –
that one of you may find your public fame
outstrips the other – this can be difficult;
I’m treating several well-known couples
for this very problem; Richard and Elizabeth
were frequent visitors here in Belair...
a marriage of two fine creative artists
can become like crows picking at
the flesh and then the bones..

So I hope you don’t mind this little chat;
best wishes, and I suggest
you come and see me again
not too soon – who needs psychiatrists
when they’re in love, ha ha – but
not too late?

My receptionist
will see you out…
this Hollywood practice,
though busy and, ahem, quite lucrative,
brings me much sadness, as my
wives have often commented…