(2009) In Memorandum Of Myself Poem by Deana Rode

Here lies the shell of who I used to be;
shattered remains of the girl with bright eyes
and a brighter heart

She was a dancer of the clouds, my old self;
aspirations that could fill galaxies
hopes that could ignite the sun
dreams as vast as the stars

Such Innocence she had, that I wish were true;
beliefs in Happy Endings and good people
Faith that the world was really filled with icing and kindness
an unwavering commitment to that foreign language of Hope

I watched helplessly as Life tore her apart
ripped her body to shreds with each heartbreak,
unable to save her
because I'd forgotten what it was like to care

I'm placing white roses on your grave, my sweet friend
and armies of Angels around your tomb;
They will keep watch over you
keep you safe from now on

Your memories I have burned inside me
to remind me of what you had to endure
so that I can harden my soul
and make it through this barren wasteland

I will protect you from the men who wish to unearth you;
the ones who wish to resurrect you
with sweet words and empty promises
only to murder you again...

You always were so easy to demolish

Fear not anymore, my lost companion.

You are free now from this harrowing world;
free to create your own reality in the universe above us
and dance for infinity without sorrow or tears

I am what remains of us;
a Zombie with a hole in her chest
No longer willing to feel or show Love;
Damned to being nothing but the living memory
of your missing embrace.