Alan Draper

Abandon Ship

The captain is a pirate Tom is his name
He was after fortune and fame
Ports submitted to his take over
Too many from Plymouth to Dover

It started well targets were met
Even though they were over-set
Overstretched and overspent
His crew were not content

As time passed things got worse
He found he had an empty purse
Sailing ship left to mate
A decision to delegate

She was strong & made new rule
Tom is out he was a fool
Crew not happy in the boat
Abandon ship to stay afloat

Sinking now goodbye sail
Tom & mate were bound to fail
Who's in charge should 've asked me
I'd have appointed Mr Smee

Poem Submitted: Sunday, October 18, 2009
Poem Edited: Tuesday, July 5, 2011

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4,2 out of 5
6 total ratings
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Comments about Abandon Ship by Alan Draper

  • Philosophy of a DewyFlower (11/19/2009 6:22:00 AM)

    beautiful rhyme! I liked the metaphor,
    a good philosophical way to express your thoughts!

    a 10!
    Thanks For Sharing/

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  • Rachel Butler (11/9/2009 1:19:00 PM)

    'Even though they were over-set
    Overstretched and overspent'

    Rachel Ann Butler

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  • Prakash Mehra (10/31/2009 7:15:00 PM)

    well rhymed beautiful composition.

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  • Jen Capaldi (10/29/2009 12:02:00 AM)

    nicely penned poem. though your caracters are your own i cannot help being reminded of william teach, better known as the pirate blackbeard. and ironically your last line refers to a mr. smee, the first mate to captain hook in peter pan, has tied it even more strongly to the story of the pirate blackbeard. while blackbeards first mate was a man called mr. hands, blackbeards story was actually a building block to the peter pan story. i don't know if you were aware of that when you wrote this but i love it! i love the way that your poem was so creatively written and yet it also has it's own very true historical roots. your poem mirrors history more than you may imagine in many ways. i love the poem! i think it is wonderful. while i do love your little frogs i have to say that you hit high marks on this one.10++++ my friend.
    Jen
    p.s. if you didn't know of how closely your poem reflects reality take a look in wikepedia for william teach or blackbeard and you will see how close to the mark and true history you are in your poem. again alan i have to say great job! ! ! ! ! ! oh and sorry for the history lesson, i'm a history geek: -)

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  • Lynda Robson (10/21/2009 2:45:00 PM)

    A well written poem about the way things are these days, I also liked the last line about Mr Smee, keep writing,
    10
    Lyndaxx

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  • Susan JarvisSusan Jarvis (10/20/2009 2:32:00 AM)

    An insightful metaphor that reflects these lean times - I liked the pinch of humour in the closing line. S ;)

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  • Swatimalya Chattopadhyay (10/19/2009 10:55:00 AM)

    Nice story telling, nice rhyming.Well penned.

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  • John KnightJohn Knight (10/19/2009 4:32:00 AM)

    Hi Alan - This is a real 'Sitz im Leben' (Life Situation) poem and seems like ambition turned to disaster. The Structure - Metre - Rhyming Pattern are excellent - in my opinion - as a Classical Poet - that is how a poem should be presented. It is excellent to recite! My anaysis of the content would be;
    V 1 Ambition & Aftermath V 2 Greed & Grief V 3 Dissaster & Delegation
    V 4 Reorganisation & Revolution V 5 Regret & Retrospect. Good poem based on a real experience - we all have a Mr Smee who could have turned Failure into Fortune. I score it a MAX. Yours in poetry - JOHN.

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  • Karla Bardanza (10/18/2009 10:59:00 AM)

    Lovely poem my dear! I truly enjoyed the read.

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  • Tsira Goge (10/18/2009 8:46:00 AM)

    Alan, It is melodious, beautiful, and the main-talented...10...
    Best wishes,
    Tsira

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