Ailment(Bilingual) Poem by Perdita Young (Hanna Wang)
Ailment(Bilingual)
In the grip of coughing,
totally I lost freedom.
Water, one cup after another,
could not dislodge it;
bribes, of veg and fruits,
could not soften a bit.
No attacks here, for many years,
the defense is negligent.
In the streets of dance and wine
spies are probing for chances fit...
Will it trigger a fierce battle,
in the border towns simple?
A forewarning, that may be:
A solid dike may collapse go
just because of an ant hole.
Nov.16th,2016.
微 恙
被咳嗽掌控，
失去了自由。
水，一杯一杯的灌，
冲它不走；
果蔬，讨好﹑贿赂，
无济于事。
多年无恙，城池
疏于防守。
歌舞升平的街市上，
有探子出没。
战争，会不会触发，
于淳朴的边寨村镇？
这或许是个前兆。
堤防，它溃于何处?
A solid dike may collapse go
just because of an ant hole.
something caused me to return to this poem and i now see Perdita's fine responses to my multiple comments. It is better for poets to send my responses to me as messages, as i almost never return to a poem's page, unless: 1- the title did not ring a bell aks i'd forgotten all about the title (though the poem sounded very familiar, even after being months since i'd read it. 2- i return to say i plan to use a poem in a showcase, after i find it in MyPoemList bri ;)
Wishing you a happy and healthy life, Madam, I can only say it's another great poem by you.
Thank you Sir for your great kindness...It was written almost two years ago when the weather was dry and the sky was gray.There is no worry of any kind now about health problems in spring and winter :)
(cont.) ...i use veggies. instead of negligent perhaps negligible? i'm not sure what you mean by towns simple. i don't think go is needed; i think collapse' is sufficient, though i sometimes am use a redundancy for emphasis. MAYBE I'M 'LOOKING' AT the poem in the wrong way? maybe the first part is the symbolic part and the spies are people [like CIA] a fierce battle involves guns, bombs, and missiles? ? ? ? bri ;)
My WiFi collapsed at noon and my comment here is no more...: (I cannot remember the exact thing but thanks again and surely i will reconsider these words... The concluding remark is typical Humorous Bri. Laughter in life is the best cosmetics and makes people stay young, as the Chinese saying goes 笑一笑，十年少 ten years younger perhaps.
(continued) ...are battles infections, obstructions, or failures of body systems which may cause the body's 'collapse', as an ant hole may cause the collapse of a dike? ok, maybe not simply an ant hole; maybe squirrel or badger holes. some other readers may have similar questions. ;) line 1: i might use a cough or coughing. (continued) ..
Thanks for the good suggestion... I will surely revise it into a cough or coughing :)
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5/4/2024 10:15:53 AM # 1.0.0.1119
i've read the two other comments. as sometimes happens, i can not write with such glowing praise. maybe it is due to my tendency to not think in terms of 'one thing meaning another'. ah! symbolism is the word i was trying to bring to my mind! i tend to think of things literally. so i believed the poem's character had something lodged in her/his throat, and coughing and food and drink could not dislodge it. BUT....(continued) ...
Thank you so much for your time and critical reading of my free verse, Bri. I loved to read martial fiction(authors like Louis Cha) and the physical discomfort made me think of some of the plots and there...I guess Chinese readers may find it easier to associate... The last two stanza is actually an adaption from a Chinese saying“千里之堤毁于蚁穴”literal translation: The dike of a thousand miles may be destroyed by an ant nest, or a small leak will sink a great ship...(continued) ...