Kylee Bartz

Rookie - 12 Points (9-12-96 (September 12,1996) / Attica, New York)

American Civil War - Poem by Kylee Bartz

As I watch my comrades fall,
I cant help but think of how lucky I am to be alive.

Blood is everywhere.
The blood of the people around me splatters across my face
And into my mouth.

I can hardly see who I'm shooting at.
The smoke is so thick
I am blinded by a cloud of toxic gray.

A cannon ball just went through a horse.
In one end
And out the other.
The poor creature crashes to the ground with a thud.

The Rebels are starting to retreat.
Or are they?
A charge of men with bayonets attack us.

We fire at them, fast as lightning.
Heavy lead bullets bury themselves in the enemies' skulls.
Hardly a single Reb is left.
And then they retreat.

Once the battle is over, I am glad we had a hill,
Glad we had the advantage.
Glad I survived the first Battle of Gettysburg.

Comments about American Civil War by Kylee Bartz

  • (11/1/2010 7:27:00 AM)

    you have the potential to be a good writer try to put more feelings into it to show the reader what you are really thinking and feeling by using the five sences (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (6/4/2010 5:32:00 PM)

    Your imagination paints detailed pictures. Keep writing. (Report) Reply

  • (5/26/2010 5:11:00 AM)

    No. I dont write stories, but war is a subject that is close to my heart. (Report) Reply

  • (5/26/2010 5:06:00 AM)

    you dont suck at poetry but u rock and i think you must write some war stories and a lot of stories (Report) Reply

  • (5/25/2010 8:58:00 AM)

    Hi River, there were two Battles of Gettysburg so maybe one of them would define your title and topic better? I think you meant the cannon ball not the cannon went through the horse. With musket balls, a lot of the shoots would not be kill shoots to the heads although skulls is exciting. You choose a difficult theme which produces great expectations. (Report) Reply

  • (5/24/2010 10:08:00 AM)

    War.......A curse on Human Kind (Report) Reply

  • (5/12/2010 10:13:00 AM)

    this was sooo friffin good! !
    its like a mini movie
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/11/2010 10:08:00 AM)

    A reminiscing poem..
    Nicely described!
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/2/2010 2:56:00 PM)

    i like this one it reminds my of my good old days when i was a kid 10 (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, January 28, 2010

Poem Edited: Wednesday, July 14, 2010

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