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American Civil War

Rating: 5.0
As I watch my comrades fall,
I cant help but think of how lucky I am to be alive.

Blood is everywhere.
The blood of the people around me splatters across my face
And into my mouth.

I can hardly see who I'm shooting at.
The smoke is so thick
I am blinded by a cloud of toxic gray.
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COMMENTS
Alex Robert 01 November 2010
you have the potential to be a good writer try to put more feelings into it to show the reader what you are really thinking and feeling by using the five sences
1 0 Reply
Claude H Oliver Ii 04 June 2010
Your imagination paints detailed pictures. Keep writing.
1 0 Reply
KYLEE BARTZ 26 May 2010
No. I dont write stories, but war is a subject that is close to my heart.
1 0 Reply
Hi River, there were two Battles of Gettysburg so maybe one of them would define your title and topic better? I think you meant the cannon ball not the cannon went through the horse. With musket balls, a lot of the shoots would not be kill shoots to the heads although skulls is exciting. You choose a difficult theme which produces great expectations.
0 2 Reply
Preetam Shetty 24 May 2010
War.......A curse on Human Kind
1 0 Reply
Iron Panda 23™ 12 May 2010
this was sooo friffin good! ! its like a mini movie
1 0 Reply
Shady El-shafie 11 May 2010
A reminiscing poem.. Nicely described!
1 0 Reply
Joseph Macquarrie 02 February 2010
i like this one it reminds my of my good old days when i was a kid 10
1 0 Reply

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