Arthritic Thoughts Poem by Kim Barney

I'm afraid of the knife; I don't like to be cut.
My hips need to be replaced, but I keep waiting.
I need new knees as well, but how can I do both
knees and both hips? Oh, by the way, did I mention
I'm afraid of the knife?

Do they replace elbows? I could use two new ones.
I know they do ankles. I need just one of those.
My shoulders should be changed, as well. Do they do that?
How can I clench my fists when I need two new wrists?
Plus, I still fear the knife.

I lost some fingers years ago. Never found those.
There are certain other body parts I would change
if I could. If I were a car, my brother would
jack up the radiator cap and drive a new
car under it. No knife!