Before Winter Ends Poem by Nomfundo Mtsweni

Before winter ends
I'd love to warm myself up with memories
Flashbacks of my experience with cold
I bet you were never told
See it wasn't always this bearable
I've had a time where...
Suicide attempts were possible way out
Darkness was the best hideout
Locked doors were the safest of places
Loneliness my best friend in all crisis
Nonetheless I wasn't always alone
Laughter was one thing unknown
I've embraced pain so much
Life seemed stationary in it's absence
With closed eyes(in the darkness)
I bumped into sharp objects and bruised myself
Focused on pain
I even forgot I could get myself out
Fear of change
Kept me away from the real world
Nonetheless time kept on moving
You cannot know freedom if you've never been a hostage
Peace if you've never tasted fear
Warmth if you've never felt cold
Light if you've never closed your eyes
Capabilities without being consumed by doubt
We taught darkness goes beyond a normal human imagination
I can attest to that
For light reaches the deepest depths of our soul.
Darkness and light both consuming one another
Depends on what's strong enough for that season
In this winter season I cannot feel the cold
My great memories have set my soul on fire
I'm warm enough for the next ever cold season
My Joy loud enough to silence my pain
My smile wide enough
To embrace any tear escaping my eyes
My hands long enough to pat my back
As an 'I'm proud of you signal'
Before winter ends
I'm sending a reminder to whoever cares
That every pain is pain
The difference is the depth of it
To each soul feeling it