Breaking News Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

King of Hair.
Kept Incredibly In Place.
As If Cemented To Dare,
Hurricane Winds...
To blow Not a Strand of It,
Seen Publicly Lowered...
Into Your Blemished Free Face.

"Did you not receive my memo,
I am now going to be referred to as...
King Incredible.
All that other stuff is obvious.
What is it?
And it better be important."

I have some distressing breaking news.

"If the Twinkies I ordered,
Have not arrived.
There will be heads to roll around here."

No, King Incredible.
It's not nearly that Earth shattering.
But close.
I just thought you would like to know,
Those spies you hired to spy on spies to spy.
Have heard it through the grape vine,
That even those who make the rules.
And create new laws whenever they choose.
Are not themselves above them.
To think they can break them as if immuned.
With this to do,
While licking out your tongue.
And then to 'moon' everyone.
Caring less who watches you,
On national TV.

"AND...? "

That's it.

"That's it?
That's 'Breaking News? '"

Yes.

"And I was anointed king,
To put up with this harrassment?
You tell those ungrateful peasants,
I will no longer tolerate...
Their lack of appreciation,
Of my being the only one around...
To have created their high TV ratings.
Fake news makers.
The next time when I invite,
All the networks to cover my glow.
And fantasticness.
I will call them out,
For the fakers they are."

Will that be all,
King Incredible?

"No.
I want you to warn them, immediately.
They can expect me to tweet,
About their appalling and insolent behavior."