Michael Shepherd

Rookie (8.4.1929 / Marton, Lancashire)

! Cat Skills - Poem by Michael Shepherd

So the diminishing tribe
of wild cats
got together and agreed hey times is gettin' tough
we need a strategy.
Urgently; ideally
a subject race
with superior paws
while we wait for evolution
to do its thing. How about
using easily-fooled, sentimental
old Two-legs?
They got great hands,
sexy bastards.

Right guys,
we need to be smaller than wild -
-the smaller, the more sentimental Two-legs gets; and
catch them young, they're yours for life...;

and we need just enough variety too
because Two-legs like to think they're all unique and different
and they can impose the image of their uniqueness
on their own pussy
and love us almost as much
as they love themselves - for their kids,
as much as life itself...

just enough character, in short,
to make us prized, but not enough character
to get us into war, or divorce, or corporate fraud...

The Egyptian wild cat proposed
that being seen as sacred to temples
would enhance status;
but other cool cats pointed out
that temples might get neglected in time;
better far to be a god(dess) of the hearth
than the temple. Agreed nem con.

And that took care of all the smaller details like evolution,
the rearing of cows,
and tin-openers. Bingo!

That's funny. The cat just jumped on the keyboard
and scratched me.

Comments about ! Cat Skills by Michael Shepherd

  • (3/22/2005 5:24:00 PM)

    I enjoyed your poem enough to show it to my wife, a cat person who rarely reads poetry. She gave it her paw of approval as well. (Report)Reply

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  • (3/22/2005 11:21:00 AM)

    I think they indeed can do better, Rusty. They just sit there watching you and thinking 'Why go to all that trouble for happiness when happiness is...? ' (Report)Reply

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  • Cj Heck (3/22/2005 6:31:00 AM)

    Geez oh man, Michael... you've written a poem about a conversation between MY two cats. How'd you do that?

    Seriously, this was a fun read and I enjoyed it very much. Funny thing is, watching my cats, it even seems possible!

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  • (3/22/2005 6:05:00 AM)


    Well done. My cat sits on top of my computer looking at me like...well...like a cat. I'm sure she thinks she can do better.


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  • (3/22/2005 6:02:00 AM)

    Heaven forbid that we should dare to take them to task for being..... cats... they do it so well: -) Smashing Michael: -) (Report)Reply

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Read poems about / on: cat, funny, war, together, god, life

Poem Submitted: Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Poem Edited: Friday, October 5, 2007

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