Eating Poems: 71 / 500

Celibate Mouthwash

Rating: 3.6

God forbid! a girl admits she’s lonely.
But for a guy? —Oh, that’s so sexy.
God forbid! a woman’s never been with the same man
For more than 3 months

There must be something wrong—
Why has she been sitting on the shelf for so long?
Oh but for a guy, yeah, that’s just normal;
He’s a playa & playas wanna play.

She wants to play too, this little playette,
Oh but when she plays, they have a dirty word for it
—Slut! Shhh…
Now go rinse those lips out with celibate mouthwash.

God forbid! a woman is deemed weak for being
Emotionally vulnerable.
But when a guy is? —
Oh, he’s so sensitive.

These double standards make me want to vomit.
Oh, but god forbid! I’ve already gone through the
“eating disorder phase”—
Now I’m a head case.

There’s nothing I can do about it at the moment
‘Cept write this truth in verse
And lay back on my bed—hiking up my skirt—
Oh, and god forbid! I might even touch myself.

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COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Not a member No 4 03 January 2007

Unfortunately there is great cause for this kind of comment Susan. Keep sticking it in. You do this kind of work superbly. jim

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Brian Dorn 05 September 2006

Sus, forget the double standards... this poem sets THE standard. Great write! ! Brian

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Suchoon Mo 11 June 2006

This has a similar flavor as poems by one of my favorite poets: Bertolt Brecht. This can be sung as a monoloque on the stage. 'Three Penny Opera'

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these double standards you've so aptly descibed are archaic and worn out. you've brought this point across with your frustrations brilliantly. bravo! Jake

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Gina Onyemaechi 28 May 2006

Your point is well-made, Susan, nowhere more so (for me) than in the finish. I'd like to see more 'wow' turns of phrase, though. But as I told you, Susan, don't look at me for suggestions! : -) Best wishes, Gina.

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Maxim Muyu 31 December 2008

It's true in our society that men are sensitive, but women are not counted, but sometime's we misunderstand concept of mankind, what we create is what become's and this is true what u jus wrote.

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The poet dares, with verses of ironic style, to say the truth never yet understood.

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Stug Jordan 09 April 2007

Thanks for writing something so true but (truthfully) something I've never had to worry about. All men are selfish in this way, but pieces like this might make some of us stop taking for granted the sexual heirachy we THINK we have the right to enjoy and begin to understand (yeh, b****cks) . S x

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Melanie Emiko 25 March 2007

The flow is mellow and interesting. The comparison well said in a playful style.A very good point Sus! I'm afraid I'm into the conservative-some things are meant for men, some for women. ~_~

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Chris Mendros 13 March 2007

when a guy's lonely, he's a whiner playas get arrested, pay garnished, license revoked don't play, get called gay sensitive guys are wimps You're better than this.

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