Complex! Poem by Compton Wright

Angel wings on my back with a halo on my head
But demons in my eyes, seeing darkness all around me
My thoughts are expectations of a scholar, highly intelligent
But yet I felt so out of place, used for purposes of selfishness
So corrupted in my heart thinking that bad is acceptable in life
Leaking tears out my eyes from sheer misunderstanding judgments
Upon this soul they called an outcast, some nobody, a hidden scholar

They asked; why I think that love is a woman not an emotion?
Why do you continue to write poetry if no one cares about it?
It’s my only escape from the pain in my heart that leaks blood
Onto my chest feeling everyone’s comments becomes bullets inside me
The sheer cruelty of the world’s judgmental eyes of a true man

I feel that my love to my women is completely false in every way possible
She said that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me as her lover
But all I want to do is tell her to reconsider her thoughts about my charm
As I was born for a new beginning but only to let another loved one die
As a year before my awaking of my eyes to my beloved mother I didn’t
Seen my grandmother but later in life I found out she died a year before
I was born as god gives and takes away from my mother for her prayers
To come true and have her first born son in her arms to love and nourished

But why do I have to be mistaken as my mother’s blessing?
As what I doing in my life she would never understand
Creating so much heartbreak, almost taking a life of another
But yet people see me as a leader for savior and salvation

They’re willing to do anything for me to succeed in life
But yet I break their spirits to save my own…such selfishness
I will never know why I have this state of mind as I am not only
Confused about what I’m truly am within me but people don’t care
I can’t change who I am but I can only change for the better and beyond
But not even my family and friends will ever understand truly about me
Too complex to the mind, too abstract to the world but only complicated
I’m just too…complex