Dedicated To.......

Rating: 4.5
I'll never waste a chance
To be by your side
Take every chance I get
To look into your eyes

Whenever I am near you
I feel a shiver down my spine
It keeps you rooted in my heart
Something I can't describe

When I look into your eyes
There's an unbreakable connection
A lock forms between us
A pure love, dedication

I am but a simple poet
Writing my feelings for you
Trying to translate emotion to word
As poems often do

Maybe one day you'll read this
With passion and glee
And say to yourself
I wish that 'you' was me



*Poet's note: Some people seemed to misunderstand this so I wanted to clear it up; when I say 'you' in the last line the 'you' refers to the boy reading this poem and wishing that the person the poet was writing about is him.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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COMMENTS
Lindbergh Hughes 27 February 2010
Whomever is this guy, this boy, he is a lucky one.To describe things like love, loneliness, strong feelings, depression, sadness or whatever in a poem it requires from the poet a great hability to deal with words versus feelings versus imagination.Mainly the imagination.The poet can see things that a normal person can't.His eyes are like a camera by which he captures the smallest images, sometimes, images that no one can't realize a great meaning behind it, and he changes it into a great poem.Emma's steps, gradually, are walking toward this direction...
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Putholi Arumugham 20 February 2010
soft words..strong feelings...10+
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Rajkumar Mukherjee 20 February 2010
Dear Emma, I appreciate your writing poems on love very boldly.You tried to maintain the ABAB format so far as rhythm is concerned. But you have not maintained the meter properly. 1) para one is perfect 2) para 2 &3, meter count is not maintained, Besides, ''deep'' word is used thrice. you can improve upon it by using thesaraus. 3) The word 'irreplaceable' is hard, if you can find a soft word or use an imagery, the poetic appeal of the poem will improve. 4) Para 4,3rd line is little longer, otherwise o.k. 5) last para last line, , 'was ' should be 'were' I'm giving below some alternate version of para2,3, &4, choice is yours. 'Whenever I am near you I feel a shiver down spine Which keeps me rooted Something I can't describe When I look into your eyes A deep and firm connection Forms a lock between us A pure love, - dedication I am but a simple poet Writing my feelings for you Translating emotions to word As poems expected to do' I know, you may not like so much of operation in your poem. But read it loud now and you'll know the difference. If you feel, you may accept it, In any case choice is yours. I 'm rating you highly for a bold attempt Rajkumar
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Raju Baruah 20 February 2010
surely a deep rooted love poem...touch deeply inside...hope one day..you will be by his side...for ever.
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Sarah Marie 20 February 2010
This is a very very amazing poem. It is very deep and beautiful like many of your poems. Keep writing because you are great at it :)
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Miss Rainbow 20 February 2010
well well well writen i like it alot
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Najib Altawell 08 February 2010
Great poem - good use of words and wonderful expression of feeling and love!
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Adam Reed 08 February 2010
like it. stating your emotions simply while keeping a good rhythm. nice work emma
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Amanda Shelton 07 February 2010
I like this wright good job!
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Elizabeth Pirchmoser 07 February 2010
very well written. Describes the emotion very well =]
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