Doing Right, Aside God And A Pipe Poem by Aden Orie

Doing Right, Aside God And A Pipe

Rating: 3.9


Soothing
Softness
Curiosity
Blooms into
What my future may be
The feeling that’s gone
It doesn’t last long
Nor does a life
But my soul is eternal
You can’t do this in heaven
And I swear it’s from the heart
God
I love you
And I know you watch over me
And maybe dad
Sitting there
Beside God
My thoughts still bare
,
This soothing feeling
From a stretch
I’ve been without
Yet
The feeling of
God
He’s breathing on my cheek
Standing aside me
As the soothness
That arises from the smoke
Pores down into my lungs
And out my mouth
God sits there watching
,
After I feel soothed
Yet the feeling of god
Is torn away
I still love you so much
But here
Today
The soothness
That I can feel
,
It’s so real and near
And you
Are so far away
And you’re soothing
Of the breath on my face
It’s so far away
God
Ill pray to you'
I’ll try to everyday
I have to do right
But the soothness
Burns into my lungs
Burns through the pipe
As you breathe on my face
So far away
But right aside
The 1 that you made
Watching
And breathing
And feeling so much pain
Yet I feel the soothness
This feeling is close
My mind is astray.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Evaughn Gray 12 October 2008

wow that was awsome! ! ! it was gruesome and like Anne said it was raw and it was just marvelously gorgeous~ Love Hazel

0 0 Reply
Li Away 12 October 2008

soothness and God smoke and God smoke and soothness all intersect in you and bring about the very nature of man, good by birth and experienced by life very well versed keep up the good work

0 0 Reply
Jessica LaDuron 12 October 2008

nicely written, i appluad you.

0 0 Reply
James Wakelin 12 October 2008

You are a very good poet at your age too

0 0 Reply
Heather C 12 October 2008

i like that poem, it is very well written. Keep up the excellent work! : D

0 0 Reply
Eric Cockrell 08 October 2011

heartfelt, and emotional... can feel the searching! good poem!

0 0 Reply
Adeline Foster 06 October 2011

Ah, perhaps you should 'Lay off the pipe and the smoke'. It may be a god to you, but the Almighty God says, 'No, no. Not good for you.'

0 0 Reply
Mugano Paul 10 December 2008

wow! which water do you drink? do we breathe the same air? Aden, blessed be the peole who are going to help you publish your works. And when this is done, please do not rest yet! God is extending your borders. He is increasing your tent, and in all ways of your life. keep shining; touching heaven, changing theearth. I seriously need to know you more.

0 0 Reply
Trowa Barton 14 October 2008

Nice, i must agree that this is from an intelligent mind

0 0 Reply
Colin Jeffery 14 October 2008

From the soul of a good poet

0 0 Reply
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success