Drowning (1/10/10) Poem by Kayleigh ....
Drowning (1/10/10)
Heart as dark as a lifeless night sky
Or a black sea, silent and still
And in this night sky she is falling
And in this black sea she is drowning
She pleads and she begs
Arms outreached for safety
Or flailing in desperate hope
While She gasps for her last breath of air
No one is at her rescue
Her cries go unheard
He pleas go unheeded
A faint star shines in an otherwise lifeless sky
Above a black sea that is silent and still
Kayleigh, I'm not sure why you would ask me to evaluate your poems. I am at best an amature myself. The only thing that I try to do, and this is because I am a musician, is to maintain a rhythm of the lyric. I imagine a beat in the background while I recite the poem to myself, and make changes that fit the beat. I'm not saying this is the right way or the wrong way, but this is my way. I try to have something to say that is thoughtful, entertaining, and has a rhythm. I would like you to read my poems 'fine things' or 'Famous Lines'. Keep writing....
A very sad but very interesting piece. Thanks for sharing.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 11:49:37 AM # 1.0.0.1119
A very smart piece, well portrayed