Exchange Of An Unsuitable Pet Poem by Pete Crowther

In a little family group they stood
Aggrieved on the petshop floor.
“It bit me and me mam and our Gladys,
And ‘im, that boy by the door”.

The ferret dangled like a dishcloth,
Totally in disgrace
And listened appalled as its sins and shortcomings
Were paraded in front of its face.

The petshop assistant was doubtful, and said
They’d had it as a kitten,
And neither customer or staff
Had it ever bitten.

But when she’d seen the scars and scratches
On Gladys’s hands and face
She said they might have another ferret
To take the miscreant’s place.

“No thanks, no way”, they said, as one,
“We’ll have a different pet,
Something soft, preferably toothless,
Anything but a ferret”!

They humm’d and haw’d and messed about
With many a poke and dig
And finally chose in exchange for their ferret
A gormless guinea pig.