Exhilarating Mutation; Blind Passion. Poem by Dakota Ellerton

In the depths of my heart,
I've kept a secret from you.
The hardest of truths.
It would destroy your security,
rip down the walls.
I will not be the cause of your tears.
You and I can no longer speak,
a year, two years,

what difference does the time make now?
None.
You've blindlessly thrown so much away,
my honesty has bled.
You've turned your back on whatever hopes there were.
Are you ready to accept this fate?
You've pulled it over your own eyes,
you can only delay so long.
I thirst for your chaos,
you've become a muse,
an inspiration to write.
Without your poison,
I doubt I could write.
The hard times you've brought down,
I could not accept,
and so I've mutated.
Feeding off your suffering,
I almost enjoy the twisted thoughts I spin so lightly.
But you,
what do you enjoy now?
What games do you play darling?
Whose heart will you be breaking now?
The heart attack sleeping in my chest,
will wake someday.
The words you use,
cut deeper then any blade.
You wound me.
What shall we do now love?
Shall I tell you my secrets,
let you in once more?
No, I couldn't bare you to think less of me.
Maybe I could show you,
the words I read most lately.
'Why can't you love me like you love him'.
Nothing need be said.
I couldn't speak anyways,

I am a mute.
The cruelty I stagger through,
astonishing.
I want not a kiss,
I don't want you to touch me.
Thats your comfort, not mine.

If I could push you all away, I would.
It's things like these,
you'll never understand.
If I showed you whats under the blankets,
would you still tell me you love me?
You're not protecting me,
you're lying to me.
You're covering your tracks you fiend.
Though not very well.
The cluelessness of others is their own flaw.
I can see every secret,
written on your face.
I can see the suffering on your hands,
and the guilt on your shoulders.
I see the lies in your eyes,
and anger in your chest.
I see every flaw,
and yet, could not love you less.
Dare not love you less.
Maybe I concern myself too much with you,
maybe I should turn my back.
Should anything happen during that time,
I'd never forgive myself.
I couldn't walk away,
no matter how harmful you've been.
Like an addict,
I would never admit I'm hooked,
nor would I simply put you down and calmly walk away.
But as for what I feel,
I don't know that I can feel anymore.
I write this so lightly,
with a calm expression.
You are my biggest fear,
my biggest wound,
my saddest tear.
But I'd never regret.
My heart is on my sleeve,
dangling by a string.
I'll impatiently wait,
for you to tug it once more.