Fear Poem by Chantelle Nixon

I’m scared
So afraid that to leave my own house
I know that in crossing the street
Taking a single breath
LIFE WILL HAPPEN
And in life, there is pain
And there is nothing I fear
More than pain
Afraid to go to school
Or show my face at work
Afraid to show the world
Who I truly am
I’m afraid to see the sun
Or hopelessly admire the moon
Because I know the pain that life will bring
It’s so hard to keep fighting
Back all these tears
Biting back my words
Snatching back my heart
Locking away my thoughts
Why does life keep sending these monsters
That want to eat me alive
My heart is who I am
It keeps me going, keeps me breathing
How can I not protect it
How can I let it go
Yet they try and take it
Try to claim it, only to make me
Lose myself in the darkness
Someone once told me that
Life = love
I laughed
The real equation is Life = pain = love
No life is not love, but full of pain
There is an abundance
I’ll never run out of tears
And the sky will never run out of clouds
My heart will never stop breaking
And love.......
There’s no such thing
Only a silly emotion that makes
People act so profoundly ignorant
That their actions can only be
Logically processed in hindsight
So I am not ashamed to admit my fear of life
In fact, I fear these very words
Across my paper, leaking from my pen
That’s why when it comes to LOVE
My heart screams, “NO NEVER AGAIN”