Getting One To Speak Fluent French Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

You can dress a monkey in a tuxedo
To mingle amongst key guests and their associates.
But getting one to speak fluent French at cocktail parties,
To impress those of social influence
Is almost impossible to negotiate
IF they are not asked to participate in selecting the menu
And choice of hors d'oeuvres served
They can be very tempermental when feeling imposed upon
To perform in atmospheres with too many pretentious people.
Gathering around to be entertained and 'Mais Oui-ed' for kicks

'My next impersonation?
Edith Piaf
La Vie en Rose
In the key of G-flat, please
AND
May I just say this
IF there is going to be any of that fluttering around
As I deliver Edith
I'm leaving
I want that understood
I can not be mesmerizing with all that other stuff competing.'