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*haiku #40

Rating: 3.4

the smoke of breaths
clouds the cold morning chapel
worshipers at Lauds

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COMMENTS OF THE POEM
george george 06 October 2009

fantastic! you have a gift for Haiku Lillian.

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Sandra Fowler 04 October 2009

Sometimes brevity is beautiful. This is one of those times. Lovely... Kind wishes, Sandra

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Sonya Florentino 29 September 2009

you've captured the atmosphere.... no matter the cold, their faith warms the place, its fire between hands enfolded...

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Susan Jarvis 26 September 2009

'Breaths' and the symbolic 'smoke' in the opening line conjure a real feel for the crowd, incense and atmosphere; and the alliterative second line sounds like the chattering of teeth. A vivid and chilly image created in this admirable haiku. S :)

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