David Knox

Humility Within Me

It's a cry of desperation
Or maybe it's a whim of fate
It's an understanding of identity
Or maybe it's a touch of predestination

Are my steps ordered
Are my words heard?
Does my will and volition produce results
Or am I presumptuous and filled with perdition

For awhile I believed Humility was all about not having me
I mean truly I am the problem
I'm the sickness and I'm the disease
I'm the worst enemy it's inside me
Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me
The weird thing about it was the more I sought to lost myself
The more I got lost in myself
The more I tried to empty myself
It actually started to work...
And then nothing worked
I didn't work
There was no work
No work

I guess what I mean to say is when I tried to find Humility
I just tried to take myself out of the equation
No more me, and in seeking to remove myself
I thought about nothing but myself
There was no redemption
No freedom, no change, I just had a new idol on the shelf
My thoughts were turned inward and all I thought of was me
Sure I hated myself, sure I wanted to remove myself from the equation
But it was all about me
Now I can finally see
Because I am out of the way, but I am not gone
Not like I sought to be
My spirit lives on
Because I'm here I'm in the equation and I'm me
Humility can only come when it's Humility with me
When it's humility within me

So there it is, the only thing that is humble is to say
You are who God says you are
The only humble thing is to not be entitled to yourself each day
It is neither pride nor a disgust for self, I am close to God not far
This is who I am
This is me
I am loved and I am champion and I am world changer
I have what it takes
All of these things the father spoke to me directly
So I know them to be true
It's clear to me to sell myself short and say that I am not
Would be to call Him a liar and to be the most proud of all
To say that God is wrong and I am right because I know I am nothing
Because I know I deserve to be out of the equation
Even though He put me there

Thank you God that you take note of me and that you care
Thank you for telling me who I am
For that is who I am
I'm going to pursue humility, but it's not about becoming nothing
I am me
Now I see the humility within me

But to the world, the humility within me looks like pride.

Topic(s) of this poem: human condition

Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 27, 2015
Poem Edited: Thursday, August 27, 2015

Form: Free Verse

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

contemplation on what real humility is, false humility and self derision is just another form of inward focused pride. The only thing that is not prideful is to say you are who God says you are. When people say I have a talent I don't want to say I don't or that 'it's a ll God'... God gave me that talent and I'm proud of it and I do have it and to say anything else is lie, and to God a liar by not agreeing with him, well I would say that is the most proud (prideful) thing one could do.

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Comments about Humility Within Me by David Knox

  • Kelly KurtKelly Kurt (8/27/2015 4:35:00 PM)

    A wonderfully written poem, David. Thanks

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  • Roseann Shawiak (8/27/2015 1:35:00 AM)

    A very enticing and profound poem, David, it captured my senses and held my attention throughout. Excellent discourse on real humility, I found it very thought-provoking, as it awakened my mind. Thank you for sharing your poem. RoseAnn

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