I Am What I Am Poem by Heart of Ice Die Die Die

I just want this pain to go away.
I just want him
to understand why I do this.
Why I am
what I am.
I want the pain to go away,
and there's just so much of it.
The hurt of too many years
on Earth.
And when the hurt is this bad
you'll do ANYTHING to make it stop.
Even if
it's only for a little while.
I've come to a point
where anything can bring it on.
One word can tip me off the edge.
Everything just hurts SO much lately.
Depression surrounds me
like a cloud of fog.
I'm sad
even when I should be happy.
I try not to let it show through,
keep people out.
No need to hurt you or anyone else,
more than I already do.
No need to hurt myself
more then I already do.
My heart is bleeding,
my heart is dying.
Sometimes I wish it would.
And I just want you to know,
it's not your fault.
It never was.
And I'm sorry I am
what I am.

Dec.-2-09