Ted Sheridan


I Live Next Door To A Madman - Poem by Ted Sheridan

I live next door to a madman....
he has been known to stalk the mail carriers
especially the ones in short pants;
late at night he whistles 'My Eyes Have Seen The Coming Of The Lord'
completely out of key and without major accompaniment
as he sets butt naked in his plastic Adirondack chair
smoking a Cuban cigar which was mailed from his friend in Canada
the one who sends him pictures of the Queen
when she was between the ages of seven to ten;
he walks around his house peering from window to window
checking to see if someone has been digging up his flowers.....
we think his wife is pushing them up as she claws
her way out from below.....
I live next door to a madman.....
he has an ugly Pit Bull complete with spiked collar
it is the same collar I saw his wife wearing
the day before her disappearance;
the Pit Bull is the culprit who is always
digging up this madman's flowers;
my wife said she saw it with a bone in his mouth
chewing the red meat from its shank
paying no attention to the dirt and flies or it being rank
but that dog started growling as she approached to inspect;
my wife thinks the dog helped bury the evidence
no one really believes his obedient wife to still be alive
or at least above ground so to speak;
I live next door to a madman......
but he lives next door to me......


2007 © Ted Sheridan


Comments about I Live Next Door To A Madman by Ted Sheridan

  • Brian Jani (5/6/2014 2:24:00 AM)

    nicely done Ted (Report)Reply

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  • (7/12/2007 1:54:00 PM)

    For a second there I thought I was living next door to Mr S.King (Report)Reply

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  • (2/6/2007 3:49:00 AM)

    Interesting poem Ted, like the wry, dry sense of humour with which it's written. A pretty dark tale nonetheless! HG: -) xx (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Poem Edited: Saturday, January 8, 2011


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