i never imagined that it'll be so tough
as am all alone here right now
something went wrong i dont know how
i thought we had the truest love
i thought people like us were very few
who had feelings which seemed so true
now they're falling like some dew
not at all sure about the next move
the only thing i have now is me
when she was there i felt so free
now that she tried to leave
these feelings i dont konow whom to give
i stand alone in this terrible dark
begging badly for a little apark
as she left on my heart a holy mark
i have nothing to do but to lark
i see the face of a gun
as i know not how to overcome
my life now is devoid of all the fun
now i see that everything is none
but one thing about which i am sure
is that my heart is always pure
ill never give up until i cure
my heart which is always true
i loved her with all my soal
to get her back is my goal
before i run out of fuel
i surely wont become a fool
i cant see someone in her place
the only thong i picture is her face
our love ran with such a pace
to get her back i want some ways
wish i could feel her one last time
wish i could tell her that am not fine
wish i could look back at all those signs
wish i could that 'you are mine'
wish i could say that 'you hurt me'
never did i accuse her for all she did
for her i sound so stupid
when i say that i did bleed
i'll convince her i dont know how
perhaps i'll show her all my love
which is always hard to see
but i'll surely find a key
Very long and very touching! I like it! I really enjoyed it. Keep up the fresh ideas.
the emotions are definitely there and u just have to work a little bit on ur rhymes...is better to write a poem with a blank verse or one with rhyming...to me, thats where u should start frm..but overall, it's certainly a rich and sentimental poem! a 9 frm me =D
this is quite a poem u got here..truly genuine and unique! truly you indeed! u amazing! =)
I love this poem, again in this, there is a philosophy of 'impermanaece'. They way you have painted it.... 'now i see that everything is none'. And he is in his real 'awarenes' after being betrayed, so expalined...'i surely wont become a fool'. You've got a good future in poetry.
Nice work. I can see you've used the verses quite well. The title could've been a bit more relevant to the theme - I mean like something that reflects the pain in the poem. A nice peice it is anyway. Keep writing.
nice poem emotiones are up and downs butr its good 10++++++++++++ keep up the good work xx kimberley xx
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
that is a very pretty piece. penned very nicely!