(for Annelize)
I met you on a bright hot summer day,
your smile was radiant; your eyes did gleam,
I do not remember what you did say,
you were the woman, of whom I did dream,
your voice was sweet and your gaze did mine meet,
your presence did me unsettle and me stun,
as if I was the one that you do complete:
the one destined for sadness and fun.
Maybe something lacks in my memory,
your fragrance was fresh and also timeless
but I still do you in my mind's-eye see:
you were much more beautiful than just this.
Right here I might be tonight too direct
but on me you still have this same effect.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Better than your usual mediocre effort, BUT line 7 is missing a syllable and line 8 has an extra syllable. Overuse of 'do' and 'did'. Is not iambic and has no flow.